365 / 365

Meeting.

365

I have always wondered how complex destiny is. Does it calculate our every move? Is it an entity that dictates how should we live our lives? Does it have a predetermined future for me? And most of all, will I be alone for the rest of the journey of my life?

These questions bother me once in a while, and as of now, as I wait for my train, it is one of those times.

As I stare in a sea of people, I see the answers to my questions.

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1

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"Mom, can you please send me the details of our trip?" I ask my mother, who is on the other end of the phone call, as I try to balance the papers I was holding while walking.

My mom replied with a swift "Sure dear, let me hang up so I can forward them to you. Love you" and ends the call.

We've been planning for our South Korea trip for a while now, and all I can feel is butterflies in my stomach. It's my first ever trip outside of the country, and I've never been to any place else other than Manila, my hometown. I wonder, "how is it like for me to be out of my comfort zone?"

My work is pretty typical, I work for the documentations of a local cosmetic and skincare company, and I am underpaid. I'm a 24-year-old girl who is working out of her intended job order. Very typical.

I pass the time by wanderlusting in different places I wanted to visit, and South Korea is one of them. But, there is this gut feeling, that "what if?" Because the truth is, my anxiety always gets the best of me. It slowly eats me until I cave in and I just completely stop. I stop daydreaming, I stop wondering, and I stop dreaming. "Maybe I am always going to be destined to be stuck to what I am right now." That's how I treat myself, and always will.

Office hours goes by very fast, especially for someone who dreads to go home and just curl into a ball until I have to do everything all over again. Sleep. Wake up. Eat. Bath. Commute. Work. Work. Work. Go home. Sleep. Repeat. My life has been pretty repetitive and monotonous that I lost the joy in my persona, the joy in my life.

I clearly remember the day my mom told me that we are going on a trip. "Sam, we are going to Seoul this October. Make sure to file a leave, okay honey?" Those words rekindled a spark in my heart, a spark that gave me a tinge of hope.

Maybe I won't be stuck here.

And I wasn't wrong.

But I wasn't right too.

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87

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August, September and the first week of October flew by easily. When the date of departure came, I was having a panic attack, mainly for the action of going into a plane. What if it crashes? What if we encounter turbulence and die? You know, the random and common thoughts of a first-time flyer.

Surprisingly, the plane ride went smooth. When we arrived at Incheon Airport, everything was already pre-arranged, and we were led to the car for transfer to our rented home for one week. Whilst in the car, I remembered, I never asked my mom, not once, why she suddenly planned a trip overseas.

"Hey mom, can I ask you something? I know its strange to ask now since we are already here, but why did you decide to go here?"

My mom smiled and told me "I had a good feeling about Seoul."

She was both right and wrong.

We arrived at our apartment and I already noticed that the upper floors of the building seemed to be heavily guarded.