i don't think you actually know,
how i feel
or how i deal with things
how i process them
how i adjust to them
i look at nothing and say
"you're the only one that wants me around"
it's painful
but the way i feel
if i even feel anything
is ineffably explained.
scientifically i could never explain.
my mind decays even more.
and to every other living human being,
i cannot tell you how beautiful you are
or what the hell you even are,
but i just can't seem to find it in myself.
as i looked into the moonlight
as lacrimal fluid rushed out of my eyes,
a numbness filled my soul,
if i even had a soul.
if i had one chance to be anyone,
anyone at all,
i'd choose me.
because,
i am not her anymore.
