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"Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you

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"Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you."

-Veronica Roth

Idalie- not edited

No.

Please god no.

Why does it have to be him.


    With my back pressed against the pillar and xan whispering in my ear I cant focus on anything. All I can think about is the sick feeling in my stomach, like something is eating me from the inside out. My heart is racing and pounding in my ears. Everything sounds like white noise, my skin is tingling like my whole body fell asleep.

    "Idalie! Damnnit what did you see?" Xans voice brings me back to reality and the hand caressing my cheek helps to.

     "Stay quiet and go find our fathers, I'm going to get ivan and Sicily out of this." I whisper and he nods hesitantly.

    Xan stands up behind the pillar and begins to sneak off when I grab his wrist. He looks at me confused and the words almost dont come out, they feel like poison on my tongue.

     "Tell my father that...Alistair cross is alive." The words burn my throat but he nods and continues to tip toe away.

    My attention is grabbed when shouting starts again from the room I hear Alistair telling Sanchez to leave before someone finds him. I hear Sanchez shuffle out of the room and a guard I didnt see moving behind him. Now all that's left I'd Sicily, ivan. And Alistair.

    "Sicily, ivan, I cannot say it is a pleasure seeing you again. But it will be a pleasure to see your baby sister. I have definitely missed her." His deep voice is cruel and sadistic.

   I have to take a few deep breathes just to focus on the situation, I may be impulsive but I am always focused and aware of my situation and surroundings, but right now I have tunnel vision and the only thing I know is that my siblings are in danger. I cant focus on anything when they are in the room with that monster.

   Come in idalie get yourself together and protect your family!

  "Come on you little bitch tell me where she is!" Alistair shouts and I hear ivan grunt.

   My heart almost breaks when I hear Alistair punch ivan, the pain in Sicilys voice when she pleads for him to hurt her instead. My blood is boiling I've never been this angry. Nobody hurts my family.

   Standing from behind the pillar Sicilys eyes go wide and ivan has tears in his eyes. She is shaking her head and telling my to get out of here with her eyes while sobbing ivan is trying to be strong but is terrified I can see it in his eyes.

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