My Desert Haven (BOYXBOY)

Chapter 10

Eddie was sitting on the floor in the doorway to my room. He’d ended up there about halfway through reading my mom’s letter, and hadn’t moved since. When he sank to the floor, it had seemed unfortunate that there wasn’t a chair underneath him, but I guess for him, it didn’t make a difference. He seemed completely winded, so it was probably good that he was on the floor.

As for me, I felt like a nervous wreck, but it had more to do with the fact that Luke was standing in the hallway behind Eddie, watching us curiously, and considering that I had a pretty good idea of what was in that letter from my mom to Eddie, I had a feeling that Luke was about to hear a few interesting things. It was his reaction to them that worried me, especially after our conversation before he drove me back to the house.

"Alice never... I talked to her for months before you came here and she never said...I mean, you think she would have mentioned..."

"That I’m gay," I finished for Eddie, but as I said it, I was looking past him, at Luke, who would probably come to the conclusion that I was a hypocrite once he wiped the wide-eyed, weird expression off his face.

"That you’re gay," Eddie finally said, at which point Luke suddenly pushed off the wall he’d been leaning on and after one more strange, unreadable look in my direction, he walked away. I fought down the urge to go after him. There would be time for him to yell at me later; for now, I had a confused, and apparently homosexual father to deal with.

"Yeah, and she could have mentioned the same thing about you," I pointed out, and Eddie finally looked up from the paper and met my eyes. But, he looked frustrated, and the fact that it seemed directed at me, put me on the defensive.

"You never said anything," he stated, and I immediately felt like it was an accusation, and in return flashed him an incredulous look.

"Me?" I demanded. "What about you? I’m used to hiding it from people I don’t even know! Everyone around here knew about you and you had them all lying to me! And did you ever think that maybe I would have told you if I knew it was safe to? Before I came here there were only two people who knew about me and only one of them is left! You can’t be pissed at me because..."

"Okay, Rory!" Eddie raised his voice to match mine, and lifted a hand, as if to surrender. "Okay... you’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry. This is just... a lot." He looked at the letter in his hands and then at me again. "Did... did you read this?"

"No," I replied, frowning. I’m not sure why I took offense to that question. Probably because the envelope had been sealed when I gave it to him and I was still feeling defensive. "She sent me one, too."

Eddie flashed me a curious look and I suddenly felt nervous. I was afraid that he was going to ask me if he could read my letter. I didn’t want to share it. Definitely not yet. It was from my mom, to me. It was mine. I could understand his curiosity, though. I was curious to know what his letter said, too. But, Eddie didn’t ask to read it, and he didn’t ask me if I wanted to read his. Instead, he literally lifted himself off the floor, looking tall again as he stood in the doorway, if not very comfortable.

"This is..."

"A lot," I finished for him. "You already said that."

Eddie frowned at me. "Rory, you know... I have no idea what to say to you," he admitted, shaking his head. "I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to you right now." He sounded disappointed about that.