a weighted memory ~ ashannie.

deux ~ here for you

it's free period. my favourite time of the day. i go into the music room at this hour and think of lyrics. it's normally quiet in here so it's the perfect time to think. i have still yet to finish and submit my song. i already have the chorus down and the intro, it's just the verses i'm stuck on. i start singing the chorus out loud...

so to my ex bestfriend
i thought i'd know til the end
sorry i know things aren't going
as we planned

to my once ride or die, the one
who always knew me right
we would swear it'd always end up
you and i

we really messed up this time.

i finish the note on the piano when i hear clapping from behind me. i turn around to see my bestfriend jayden. she had always been my best friend, we just weren't as close as me and asher were. she engulfed me in a hug as i wrap my arms around her.

"you're doing great anns. i know you miss him" she gave me a light smile before gently grabbing my notebook and reading some of the lyrics. i saw a smile creeping on to her face.
"annie, this is so good. i'm so proud of you" she says and hands me the notebook back.
"thanks jay, i appreciate it. i really do. i love you" i smile before hugging her once again. she's the only person i actually feel comfortable around and not uptight. i'm glad we've become close because i honestly don't know what i'd do without her.
"i love you too, muffin. i'm always here for you"

before i know it the bell has rung and i have to face the reality of math. great. note the sarcasm.

i tend to walk home after school. it relieves me in a way. with the sun beaming down on my bare arms, it somehow takes away the empty feeling, even if it's for a split second. i arrive at home and i'm greeted by caleb and hayley. they take caleb's car so they get home before me. caleb always offers me a ride but i insist on walking. i hug them before running upstairs and into the shower. one of my other favourite times of day is when i shower. i feel as if i can think clearly and process things better. i hum the tune to my song in the shower and make sure if i could improve it in anyway. i also come up with lyrics better in the shower. time flies by for some reason and i come to the realisation that i've been in for an hour and should probably get out due to my fingers shriveling.

i've been sitting at my desk for an hour now and i've just finished the first verse. it's friday and the deadline for the song is monday, so i have all weekend to finish it. seeing as i don't need to be up early tomorrow, i plan on staying up late and getting most of the song done.

as always, i text asher "goodnight" even if he only replies with "gn". but atleast i'm getting a reply, right? i sigh and lie down. if asher was still in LA right now and not all the way in Arizona, he would probably be waving at me through his window and into mine as a way of saying goodnight. but no. instead there's this posh, cocky elderly couple living there now.

i close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep. flashbacks of me and ashers memories flooded into my mind. oh how badly i wanted to escape, but i was trapped in a memory. the night of halloween. me and asher both dressed up as skeletons that year, we were only ten. we held onto each others hands in a friendly way as we ran from house to house, our parents close behind us. that's when we met jayden. a ring pop dropped out of my basket as we were running and she picked it up and ran after me. our moms swapped numbers and ever since then she's been my muffin. i swear i must of smiled in my sleep, my mind replaying me and jayden's first encounter and then probably dropped when it turned back to asher. i woke up hot and sweaty. feeling the same weighted and heavy feeling i get every now and then. so at two am, i once again sat at my desk and  let my pen glide across the paper, as if my pen was the key to my mind, off loading all the feelings i'm too scared to say out loud on to the paper.

by sunday morning, i had finished the song and now all there was left to do was record it and email it to my music teacher....