The reader, who may or may not have stumbled upon this after reading the absolute garbage that was and still is I'll Be Back, I Promise (I pray you found this first and not the other one DX), has tripped and fell down another one of my fanfiction ra...
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I wake up early. From my bed, I look out the window and see the sun just rising over treetops and the wall of Alexandria. I lift my blankets and slide my legs out of bed. Glancing at my calendar, I'm still surprised that I have had my bed for seven months. Getting up with a huff, I make my way to my closet and dress myself with a simple shirt and some cargo shorts, making sure I pocket my two pocket knives, and a small towel. After going through my hygiene process in my bathroom with brushing my hair and teeth, I make my way down to the small doorway and slip my shoes on before slipping outside my house.
Nobody is outside to exchange wary nods with because of how early it is, but I am nonetheless grateful I don't have to force myself to smile. Briskly, I walk down the road to this one spot I know is completely unoccupied and can't been seen from the guard spots at the front of the gates. As I do, I pass by their house, and I almost pause.
I really wouldn't mind doing a surprise visit, just to say a quick good morning and check up on them. Once in a while, if they're up and about, they'll offer a breakfast opportunity with them, and I'll help them cook a small breakfast for us and whoever might be staying or popping by like I did. But I know if I keep hanging around them, I'll fall even harder; Maybe, I might even do something pretty fucking stupid like confess and make a fool out of myself. So I keep walking. And when I get to the wall, I check my surroundings to find the coast clear for climbing over the wall. Getting over the wall looks difficult, but after so many times of scaling it, it has become quite the amateur's exercise for me. Walking through the trees and navigating to two certain trees that hold up my handcrafted tree house built for one pretty sturdily is almost second nature.
The wood planks acting as the floor are covered in various blankets and sheets, a couple of bean bags I found on a solo raid to an abandoned furniture store because one of the Alexandrian women was pregnant and was going to need more blankets and, if anybody could find one, a sleep basket for the baby. I tried all seven well-known furniture stores that were located the closest to Alexandria, all three baby stores within the same vicinity, every knickknack shop that might have some importance, and tried all three malls, even if the Springfield Town Center was a little out of the way. The malls were risky, given how big they are, but a run down Babies R Us store had exactly what I needed.
Plopping down in one of the bean bags, I sigh. I look up at the walls and skimmed all of the things littering them; The most substantial wall hangings being maps charting the extensive area of and around Alexandria. Looking at the maps brings an equal amount of pride and a sense of nausea-inducing reassurance. I created the maps for the purpose of knowing where landmarks, safe-spaces, supply hotspots, and natural resource procurement areas are. But, at the same time, knowing how far I could go and how many places I could claim as mine, and still be hidden in semi-plain sight, left reassurance for the wrong things. If I want to disappear, and avoid the eyes of any Alexandrian ever, I... could. Just... as simple as snapping fingers. It'd be so, so, so fucking easy. And lately, as it currently stands, the idea of no one caring has firmly planted itself next in line to become factual.
The idea of leaving is so much more tempting than I thought it would be.
I pack my things and slip away; Doing that will save me from the constant stare of distrust, save the breath of the others they waste whispering about me, and the inevitable pain. I know bottles are not the solutions to my feelings, expressing them openly is the key to my happiness. Said every therapist ever. It has been too long since trust and care and love could be found in my life. A bad solution, but a solution nonetheless: Hide the feelings. Distance becomes new best friend. Bury pain. Keep surviving.
Hopeful, and slightly suffocating, outcome: No one finds out. They don't know. My heart continues to beat in dulled pain.
