Behind Deviant Eyes

In the Eyes Of the Beholder

As night fell upon her tiny house, Amy felt more alone than ever. The wounds of past relationships had jaded her and turned her heart cold. Once a young and vibrant woman, the years had taken a toll on her both in mind and body. As she stared back at herself in the mirror she no longer saw the bright eyed, vibrant girl that saw life as a playground. She had become what she had always feared and she hated it. Her body no longer attractive to her, she cursed every wrinkle, every blemish, every scar as they were reminders of the cruelty of time. She had reached her forties and was not in any way where she had envisioned herself in her youth. Two failed marriages, the result of poor choices and bad taste in men had left her heart deeply wounded and filled with regret. The only shining light were her children that she had loved and nurtured until they too had abandoned her to begin their own lives. Here she stood saddened and alone wondering where the years had gone.

Amy was an attractive and sophisticated woman with dirty blond hair and touches of grey intermingled in that rested gently upon her shoulders. Barely over five feet she was far from statuesque. Her high cheek bones accenting her large deep blue eyes. She had watched her once firm and perky breasts begin to sag and as she turned in the mirror she sighed at the site of her buttocks no longer tight and shapely as it had once been. She missed the nights in the clubs turning heads as she paraded herself around in her little black miniskirt. She reveled in the attention she received from so many men and the satisfaction she gained in playing the role of the unattainable. Now, as she stood there alone in her leggings and off white tank top she would give anything to have it all back just one more time.

Amy made her way to the kitchen, retrieved a bottled water from the fridge and stood staring in her pantry trying to figure out what she would have for dinner. She despised cooking for one. It just was never really worth the effort. She shrugged her shoulders, grabbed a handful of pizza bites from the freezer, and threw them in the microwave. As she stood there she heard the thunder booming in the distance. The weather man had predicted storms that evening and it seems they may have actually gotten it right for a change. Amy had always hated storms. Growing up in Florida she had seen the devastation they could bring. Her family had lost everything when Katrina hit and she relived the loss in her mind every time a bad storm would hit. Being alone made it that much worse to endure. As the microwave sounded the dinner bell, Amy grabbed the plate and her water and headed for the TV and her couch in the living room. No point in sitting at an empty table, she ate her meals while watching television. Living vicariously through reality shows made her feel better and took her mind off her own problems and issues. She stared intently as the storm warnings for her area flashed across the bottom of her screen. Amy jumped up and quickly located her flashlight and lit a couple candles just in case. She glanced out the window just in time to see the dark clouds rolling in and the rain begin to fall. Retreating back to the couch, she intently watched as the warnings conveyed what was to come.

As the rain began to intensify Amy grew more and more uncomfortable. She could hear the wind howling outside and worried about the large oak trees that surrounded her house. Suddenly a knock at the door brought her back to reality. She jumped up and ran to the door quickly. As she opened it the wind and rain came pouring in. There in the doorway stood her neighbor Brian. He was soaking wet and his clothes clung to his body like saran wrap. Although they had been neighbors for a little over a year, their only conversation had been brief hellos in passing. Amy had seen him many times and had admired his chiseled physique while watching him wash his truck in his driveway now and then. He mowed his yard every Tuesday without fail so she had made it her Tuesday ritual to sit on her front porch having coffee. She would pretend to read her newspaper or play on her phone but secretly, she was watching him. She loved how the sweat would build up on his body accenting every muscle. How he would turn his hat around backwards like the younger kids do. She thought that was sexy as hell but never had the nerve to really speak to him even though she never saw another female come or go. Maybe he was gay, who knows? Probably. Abby man that looked that good with no woman around just had to be gay. Now he stood there in front of her just as wet and just as magnificent. Brian smiled at her and said he had seen the windows were down on her car and he wanted to let her know before the storm got any worse. "OH SHIT" She said as she quickly grabbed her keys and rushed past him. Amy fumbled with her keys in the pouring rain finally managing to get her windows up but not before being drenched herself. She slammed the car door and ran back up on the porch thanking him for letting her know. His smile was awkward and he seemed unnerved. He told her she was welcome and slowly made his way off the porch back out into the driving rain. Suddenly he turned to face her once again. "If you need anything at all, I'm right next door" he said with that same awkward smile. Amy thanked him and slowly closed the door, watching him cross the yard back to his house. "What's with the weird look?" she thought to herself puzzled. As she went to the bathroom to get a towel to dry off it became crystal clear, literally. In her haste to get her windows up, Amy had forgotten she hadn't put on a bra that morning. The off white tank top she was wearing had become soaked and completely see through. She was mortified thinking of how she stood before him practically naked. Her heart began to beat faster and her stomach churned. She cringed as she relived it over and over. " No wonder he ran away so fast " she thought as she cringed again. Her heart sank and the depressed feelings of loneliness engulfed her once again.