Low // KELLIC

3

It was Tuesday when Vic and I decided that we would be friends, and now it's Thursday afternoon. He didn't leave my side from Tuesday to now. During school we would hang out and he'd talk to me as if we had been friends for years, and after school we would go to work together or he'd walk me home.

I forgot what it was like to actually have a friend. It was so awkward at first because I could barely remember how I was supposed to communicate on a friendly level with someone, but Vic was so natural and open and easy to talk to. I even didn't feel as horrible as I usually do every day. Sure, I was still in a state of depression, but every now and again when Vic and I would talk, I forgot about my troubles.

There was only one problem though; I had developed a crush on him. It was weird at first because I had gone so long feeling nothing but misery, and then this guy comes along and manages to make me smile and get that warm fuzzy feeling. Only, I didn't know how he felt about me. He had been nothing but friendly, nothing more and nothing less. I wasn't game enough to tell him I liked him though. Could I handle the rejection? No, I don't think so, so I figured it was better to be safe than sorry and not destroy the friendship we had made over the past few days.

Now, we were sitting in my bedroom, well I was laying on my bed and he was sitting on my desk chair, and we were listening to music. Nobody was home and this was the first time I had actually brought a friend home, other than that time when Vic just let himself in and found my arm covered in blood.

I looked at the razorblade that was still around his neck. Of course I had others and I still used them too, much to Vic's dislike, but that wasn't something I could just stop, but the fact that he still wore it as like a symbol of how much he didn't want me to do it anymore, well that meant a lot.

"You have awesome taste in music," he said as he spun around on the chair.

"Thanks," I said, watching him.

He was like a child full of life sometimes. His eyes were darting around my room in wonder, looking at my posters or other random things. He stopped spinning and his eyes landed on someone on one of my walls. He got up and walked over to my calendar where I had a big red circle around tomorrow.

"You have a circle around graduation. So, you are excited for it?" he said knowingly. If only he knew the real reason I had a circle around that day.

"No," I said, sitting up.

I swung my legs of the bed and walked over to where he was. I took the calendar off the wall and dropped it in my trash basket.

"What did you do that for?" he asked. I shrugged and sat on my bed.

"Because, I don't need it anymore," I said cryptically.

Why didn't I need it anymore though? There were two reasons and my mind was so confused about both of them. Either one, I wanted to live, and no longer needed that big red circle, or two, I wanted to die, and no longer needed a calendar. I had no clue what tomorrow would bring.

"You're so weird sometimes," Vic said.

"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically and we both laughed.

The laughter was short lived though when I heard a car pull up to the house. That meant my parents were home. I didn't want to deal with them right now, especially when Vic was still here. If they saw him then they'd probably give us both disgusted looks and they'll ask if he's my boyfriend and that'll just make things weird.

"Great, my parents. Come on," I whispered and got up, opening the window.

"Can't we use the door?" he asked.