Once Upon A Kiss

I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun~Jane Austen Pride and Prejudice.

Deren

The first time Osman kissed me had been just another mundane night at another company event. We had been drawn to each other at these things for months now. At first, it was an unspoken commiseration over our mutual unrequited longing for two people who were clearly not meant for us. Later, we became friends and I began to suspect he only attended these parties because of me. I had once helped him with his budding modeling and acting career and we kept in touch. Texting almost daily about anything and everything. At some point, it became something more. More of what I can't say, except that what began as casual admiration of a handsome man turned into a sizzling attraction. I can't single out any specific moment or action on his part. It was a gradual slide and one I doubt either of us recognized until we were already in the middle of it.

We shared a taksi after a party one night and spoke of regular things like his sudden meteoric rise as an actor and model. He told me of the self-doubt that had been plaguing him, and the feeling of being pulled in a million different directions as he was essentially working two full time demanding jobs. He refused to sell his butcher shop because he was convinced that he was just a butcher and one day people would wake up realize it, and if he sold his shop then he'd be out of a job. I insisted he was brilliant and gorgeous and could do it all if he just hired someone to take over the shop. I argued my point loudly, as I usually did when I was passionate about something, and that's when he took my face in his hands, gazed at me with his gorgeous eyes and I fell silent.

"I'm dying to kiss you" he whispered. I buried my hands in his beautiful curls, something I had been wanting to do for longer than I cared to admit, and pulled his face down to mine.

There in the back of a taksi, I was kissed so passionately and so thoroughly that I was completely oblivious to the fact that we had stopped in front of my building and apparently, by the look on the driver's face, had been there for some time. I staggered home that night in complete shock and also more aroused than I could remember ever being. My world couldn't possibly have been rocked off its axis by a mere kiss, I thought. A kiss from a bashful, unworldly and unsophisticated, if exceedingly beautiful, man. It was preposterous and yet I had the disquieting and alarming feeling that my life had been irrevocably changed.

Days went by and I went through the motions in a daze. People at work (Cey Cey) were starting to notice and question my lack of meltdowns and my sudden drop in coffee consumption. I couldn't concentrate on anything because I couldn't stop thinking about a certain curly-haired butcher and the fact that he was a really amazing kisser. I had no intention of ever again falling for a beautiful man who was in love with another woman. It had been a great blow to my pride last time. But, I finally admitted to myself that I wanted Osman more than I had ever wanted anyone. I refused to examine these feelings too closely and decided that screwing him out of my system was a great idea. Friends with benefits arrangement would suit me and him just fine. I just had to convince my gorgeous but very traditional butcher of that fact.

Osman

"Virgin?" She said in the same horrific tones one might say chlamydia or gonorrhea.

"Evet, " I responded.

I remained still, heart hammering, letting her absorb this revelation. It was clear that the notion unsettled her, and I hoped I hadn't just completely ruined my chances but I had to be honest. Not speaking out had cost me before. This time everything was going to be different. If this was going to work I had to be open with her and hope that with time she returned the favor.

"But, " she spluttered, hands waving, clearly not over her shock. "How is this possible? Have you seen you? And where did you learn to kiss like that?"

I smiled at her discomfiture and my heart stopped trying to beat out of my chest. She wasn't disgusted, she was just mystified. I could work with that.

"I've dated before I just never took the next step. It felt disloyal somehow." I didn't want to bring Leyla into this but it was important to point out that she was in the past.

Understanding dawned and her pretty face became grave. "What's different now?"

I took a deep breath, moved closer and took her face in my hands. I said softly:

"My feelings have changed." A lot was left unsaid despite my vow to be truthful but I was playing the long game and she was very skittish. I knew from past conversations that she had never had a serious relationship and seemed to actively avoid getting involved with anyone. Any mention of this being more than a friends with benefits situation for me and I knew she would run. I had to tread carefully.

"Well, then. I can't say that I've ever deflowered a man before so this will be as new to me as it is to you, I suppose." All business, that was my girl. She wore her coldness and disdain like armor to keep people at arm's length. But, I knew that underneath the ruthless ambitious businesswoman lived a passionate, kind and thoughtful person who was fiercely loyal to the few people she counted as friends. It was one of the things I loved most about her.

"So you are okay with the things I mentioned," she began cautiously. Her hands unconsciously wrapped around my wrists while I moved my lips gently over her face.

"I'm okay with everything, anything," I said smiling between fevered kisses on her neck. "I want it all. With you."

Her predilection for control, among other things, was a revelation that came one drunken night, at one of those company parties, when she was, I suspect, trying to shock me and make me blush. Instead, her confessions had left me in an aroused state for days. It opened up a whole new world of possibilities and also taught me a few things I didn't know about myself.

Her beautiful eyes considered me thoughtfully for a moment.

"Not the first time though," she muttered.

She took my hand and led me to her couch. A light shove and I found myself sitting with a handful of a gorgeous woman straddling my lap. She buried her hands in my hair and yanked it hard. The sting of her nails scraping my scalp and the feel of her hips grinding down on me almost made me come on the spot. I took measured breaths to calm my racing pulse when in a throaty voice she said:

"Kiss me, Osman."

And I was lost.