Unrequited

1 - In the beginning

Clara's hair whipped around her face as she sat on the park bench overlooking the English channel, wondering how to move forward and whether she had any options.

She knew she needed to get away, to be free of Luca and the intolerable situation that she now found herself in. She had loved him deeply once, with every fiber of her being. He had been her heart and soul. Her world. She knew that he'd never felt the same but thought that he would come to love her as she transformed from a child into a woman.

Time had proven her wrong and his continued indifference and scornful disdain had finally driven a knife too deep into her heart for her to sustain. The unfurling of events over the last few weeks and his callous comments this morning had demolished any hope she'd had for them, and she now wanted the pain to stop before it destroyed her.

Clara recalled the first time her father sat her down and told her about the marriage. She was eleven, sweet and innocent, just had her first kiss and experiencing her first childhood romance.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Sweetheart, do you remember my friend Mr. Zach Stefano?" He asked her gently.

"Yes Papa, I remember him. But I think I haven't seen him in a long time."

"Yes, it's been at least four years." He smiled at her and continued. "He has a young son named Luca who's a few years older than you and he's coming to live with us while he studies at Oxford." He waited expectantly for her reaction.

"So he'll live with us and it'll be like having an older brother?" She asked excitedly, liking the idea of having a sibling to hang out with.

"No, he won't be like an older brother Clara, because Zach and I wish very much for you to eventually marry Luca one day when you're older." Her father hugged her tenderly.

She'd looked at him, wide-eyed. "But what if I don't like him, Papa? And what happens if I want to marry Tommy?" Referring to the boy who'd been carrying her books and kissing her gingerly on the cheeks after school.

Her father chuckled. "That's why Luca is coming to stay with us, so that you both can get to know each other. I promise you'll like him. Tommy is a nice boy but I think once you meet Luca you will agree that he's very handsome."

"Ok, Papa. I'll see what Luca is like and if he's nice to me, and likes Piggy, then maybe I'll marry him."

When Luca arrived, she had been in awe of him. For Clara, it was like Prince Charming had stepped out of the pages of Sleeping Beauty. She instantly fell in love with childish abandon and Tommy never fully recovered from his fall from the pedestal. She followed Luca around whenever she could, watching in wonder as he played soccer with his newfound friends or studying in the library. Most of the time, he didn't seem aware that she was watching and she didn't mind that he barely talked to her or very rarely spent any time with her. She even forgave him for making fun of the name she'd given her beloved dog and was in awe that one day she would be married to him. The concept of marriage alluded her but she liked the idea of seeing him every day and if his hugs and kisses were anything like Tommy's had been, then she would be over the moon.

On her fourteenth birthday, as Clara had walked down the stairs in her new dress to go to a school dance, Luca had looked up as he was heading out. She'd smiled at him and asked shyly,  "Do you think I look OK Luca?" He'd simply said, "it'll do," and carried on out the door. Although it upset her to know that he didn't much care to be in her presence, her father assured her that this was to be expected because Luca was a bit older than her and she needed to be patient. Appeased by this explanation, Clara became fully dedicated to the idea of marrying Luca. She was besotted with him and did everything in her power to make him happy. She learned to make his favourite foods or tidied the library for his studies even though Macy, their cleaner, was more than able to do them. He never acknowledged her labours of love and she didn't know if he appreciated them. He seemed to eat her meals with gusto and never complained when his desk was tidied.

As Clara had grown older and Luca matured into a striking young man, she became aware of the females that surrounded him. She watched as he took numerous young beauties on dates, kissed them standing on their driveway, or even in her father's office once. One day after she came home from the movies, she found him kissing a girl passionately against the wall next to his bedroom door. She'd stood rooted, watching with fascination and hurt, wondering what it would feel like and why he was so carefree with his affections with other girls when he still rarely noticed her. Clara accidentally let out a small gasp as Luca had fondled the girl's breasts and he'd looked up at her with hazy, hooded eyes. "Go away, Brat." She'd run to her room and threw herself on her bed, crying herself to sleep. The next day when she'd raised her concerns separately with her Papa and Macy, they both assured her that this was ok and perfectly normal while Luca was growing up and becoming a man.

By her eighteenth birthday, Clara knew that her childish adoration for Luca had turned into something deeper and more mature. Unlike him, she never felt the urge to explore anything with boys beyond a date or two. On one occasion, when one of her dates had dropped her home and kissed her on the cheek, she heard Luca say behind her, "you'll need a real man soon to show you how that's done Brat." Red-faced and embarrassed for both her and Will, she ignored Luca and pressed a firm kiss on Will's lips in apology and flounced pass Luca up to the stairs with a challenging smirk. He'd chased her up to the landing and grabbed her head between his hands and plundered her mouth aggressively, dipping his tongue inside. Then without a word, he left her standing there in surprise and wonder at her first real kiss. After that occasion, she knew that she wasn't as unappealing to Luca as he made it out to be. On several occasions she caught him staring at her, only to scowl when he realised that she'd noticed. It gave her hope and made her giddy to know that he found her at least a little attractive. 

Luca didn't attempt to kiss her again and generally left her alone after that episode. Shortly after her nineteenth birthday, he announced that he would return to America. Like the years he'd spent living with her and her father, Luca said very little to her on the day he disappeared from her life. Walking out the door with his suitcases, he'd simply turned and quietly said to her, "don't make me do it Brat". His parting words were cryptic and baffled her and only compounded her upset that he had nothing else to say to her. Heartbroken, she confined once again to her father who calmly vowed that he would be back. 

And he had, often, each time with a beautiful young woman on his arm. It had hurt her to be introduced to these women while he ignored her. Although every single one of Luca's visits reaffirmed her desire to be his wife, it also chipped away a little piece of her heart. But she believed her father was right, Luca didn't yet belong to her and was entitled to his freedom before he settled down.

~~~~~~~~~~

Now she knew that her instincts had been right and Luca had never belonged to her.  She no longer had her father's assurance and found herself the head of a business empire that she didn't want and forced to marry a man who didn't love her.

She gripped the letter that her father had written, explaining that he'd made a deal to save his business and unfortunately, she had been the bargaining chip. She was brokenhearted and angry to know that her father had been forced into the situation but now as the head of Hawthorn Industries, she understood the predicament that he had been in.

Clara let the salty air dry the tears on her face. Luca had arrived back in England as soon as he learned her father had suffered a fatal heart attack. She'd thought that was because of some affection and respect Luca had for him but never showed. Now she knew otherwise as she recalled Luca's parting words when he returned to America. Comprehension dawning as she processed the stipulations in her father's will which was read to her by his lawyer this morning.

As she'd left her father's office earlier, bewildered by the will reading, Luca had approached her, a determined look on his face. "I will marry you Clara and give you a child, but I won't love you or be faithful to you." In that one sentence, twelve years of her love and devotion had turned to anger and resentment.

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