Blood And Sweat

To Eddie Kaspbrak, love was something forbidden, much like any other thing in the shallow life he lived. It was something to never be spoken of, a cursed subject that's best not to approach. Some could say Eddie Kaspbrak was afraid of love, terrified even, as he never talked about it, never seemed to have experienced the deep feeling that come with caring so much for someone. Truth is, Eddie Kaspbrak didn't know what love was. He didn't know all the lies his mother fed him about it were just that; lies. He thought he had all the love he needed in his so-called home, where in truth that's the last place he'd find it in.

And, as it is, love comes in the weirdest forms and shapes. To Eddie Kaspbrak, it came as a pleasant surprise. As nights spent dancing to the beat of imaginary melodies. He found it in two bodies touching, skin to skin, blood and sweat. He found it in sneaking out, in running away. Eddie Kaspbrak found love in a man.

"Go home kid. I ain't up for dancing tonight" The man said as he moved around the little room, apparently cleaning up.

Eddie looked behind him at the red curtains hat separated the room from the rest of the pub, then turned his attention to the lanky man before him.

"I, um..." It wasn't like he could go home now. It was still too early (or late) for his mother to actually be asleep, and he'd be in trouble if she caught him going back home. He wouldn't go back to the pub without his friends either. The people either snarled or glared at him, or looked him up and down as if considering something.

Eddie supposed it was normal. He was a small person, who didn't look the least intimidating. As for the bedroom looks, Bev always commented how good looking he was, and how he had great thighs. And, well, he had come to the pub to get laid, after all.

Having a life like Eddie's was complicated. Since he was very little, his mother had rejected his own nature, just as hers. She would say again and again how it would get him killed, just like his father. 'And who would I have if you left, my dear Eddiebear? Who would take care of dear ma?'

Eddie hated how he always guilted him into staying with her. He knew that she was toxic, that she was sick. And yet something forced him into staying by her side. Maybe it was just the fact that he loved her, and she loved him back.

(Only I love you Eddie bear only me no one else no one else will ever love you like I do no one-)

Maybe it was the fact that he really wouldn't be safe in the world without her. His true colors would show, would he want it or not. And, if his own mother didn't accept his own nature, who's to say the outside world would greet him with open arms?

Eddie knew for a fact it wouldn't. Once he had known a beautiful boy whose auburn hair for surely would've shone in the sun, if any of them had been able to be out at the same time as the burning sphere that hung from the sky without being burned into inexistence. The boy, of his same kind, whose name was Bill, dreamed. He dreamed of people, normal people, liking him. He dreamed of beach days, and road trips, and real schools. He dreamed of meeting the love of his life somewhere in this normal world the two of them were never able to be a part of.

Bill dreamed too much, according to Eddie's mother.

One day, Bill decided to go explore the world. "I need to see what's out there, Eddie" He said as he went around his room, packing. The moon tinted their faces a pallid blue, almost white, from where it's light was coming through the window. Eddie followed Bill's moves, a permanent frown painted in his face, from where he stood upside down, feet attached to the attic's ceiling. "But Bill" he insisted, "you could get hurt badly! Just the daylight could turn you into tiny ashes!"