Unbroken ~ A Luke Brooks fan fiction ~

~ Chapter one ~

“Dear diary,

I really do try to be normal, I really do try to stop being so stupid, It’s just so hard when you don’t know who you really are. Who am I? Who is that girl I see in the mirror?  I really don’t remember myself anymore, everything used to be much better. I wish things didn’t changed, I wish I could stay little forever. I wish I didn’t have any problems. But I do, I’ve problems that nobody understands. I want to tell it to someone, someone who I trust. But I don’t have that someone. I feel completely alone in this world, I feel like nobody cares about me, and that is basically true. My mum really doesn’t care about anything, she is stuck up in her perfect world, with her perfect daughter. I don’t want to be her perfect daughter, I just want to be myself.

I hope that things will get better when we’re moved to Melbourne. It’ll be a new start, the beginning of a new life, a life that’ll hopefully be better than my current one.

xxx Caitlyn ”

Yes, I am Caitlyn, that girl who isn’t popular, that girl who’s always silent. That girl who always smiles, but cries in the inside. Oh and I almost forgot that I’m a really awkward person.

I need to get up and pack my bags. I’m really happy that we move from America, but I’m also very scared for going to Melbourne. What if I’ll be the boring girl again? What if nobody likes me? I wish I had confidence, A LOT.

My room is already empty, but I need to pack my last clothes and stuff. Tomorrow is the big day, the start of my new life. I hope I don’t ruin it.

I pack my last stuff and putt my bags in the car. I feel my mothers eyes staring at my back. I turn around, and see her watching me. Was she crying?

“mum? W-what’s wrong? ” It feels really awkward, I don’t know why.

“Caitlyn, I’m going to miss this place, what if you miss your friends? Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to move, maybe we should stay here?”

I look at my mum, unbelievable. I wanted to go, I really wanted to go, I want my new life.

“No mum, I want to go. I don’t have friends, stop thinking that I’m perfect when I’m really not, I don’t have anyone here, even my own mother doesn’t care about me ! When was the last time you actually talked to me, asked me how I was ? I want to go, I want to leave everything behind me. I want to start over !”

I knew that I was breaking her heart, but I just needed to say this, I couldn’t help. I run to my room, I can’t take this for now.

As soon as I enter my room, I search my razor. Yes I cut myself. Why? I don’t exactly know, I heard that it helps to sadness. The first time it hurt, but it also felt kind of… good. I wanted to stop, but I think it’s addictive. I really try to stop, but it helps, it really does.

I place the razor on my wrist, 1..2…3 I press it in my skin and slowly cut in my skin. My skin what ones was completely clean, was now filled with scars. It’s ugly, just like me.

I hear a soft knock on my door and I put the razor back under my bed, and clean the blood on my wrists. 

“come in”

I see my mum, completely in tears, her hands shaking, and her hair a complete mess.

“Caitlyn, I-I’m so s-sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, I just wanted to be the perfect mother, but I failed”

Her tears are like waterfalls. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I might be mad at her, but I really do love her.

“mum, it’s okay”

“No Caitlyn ! It’s not okay. I promise you, I’ll be a good mum, we’ll start everything over in Melbourne, I promise you”

“thank you mum, that’s exactly what I need right now. I love you”

I give my mum a hug, something that I missed. I missed her smell, her soft hair and her sweet voice.

“I love you too Caitlyn, you mean everything to me sweety”

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Okay so omg this was my first chapter, I hope someone will actually read this. You can comment and vote, and feel free to give me tips and stuff like that.

I love you <3 x Enel