JoJo's Bizarre Writings

oasis

summary: after Avdol's death, you realize that you're not fit for the journey— or well, that is your opinion. Kakyoin has one of his own, and a very different one.

pairing: noriaki kakyoin x reader (one sided). jotaro kujo x reader (even more one sided)

rating: family friendly... As in the JoJoverse 'family friendly'.

tw: none too severe. implied ptsd and survivor's guilt. ooc on kakyoin's part? and of course my unedited writing.

format: one shot. 1,5k+

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One can never underestimate the power that the mind holds over the human being. What someone might think, might feel, that something as trivial as a thought could be the difference in said someone's life. And for you, you can't help but tremble in fear that, perhaps, just perhaps this might not be the place for you.

In hindsight it was easy that you accepted, quite frankly, it seemed expected that you did so— the poor, shy girl that could see ghosts and who had this mad crush on the mysterious delinquent that seemed to perceive them as well, quite te stuff of novels when you think about it. When Jotaro Kujo entered your life, you didn't chase him around since everyone else seemed to do so and fail, but rather you waited on a corner for your chance to approach him and not blow it.

Saving his mom, at first, seemed like a one way ticket into his heart, besides being the right thing to do. This... thing, DIO, seemed like a threat and the mere thought made you shiver— but Jotaro could handle it, Mr. Joestar and Avdol could help and, well, Noriaki Kakyoin seemed very eager to get revenge as well. You even had a Stand besides you, The Chain.

It is easy when you think about it: save the mom, save the world, save his heart. Indeed the stuff of novels.

Except that novels could never prepare you for the harsh slap that is reality.

The novels might tell you about it: they might describe the details, the despair, how hollow they would feel when life drained out of their eyes but the difference was that your life went on. You would close those books and hold them to your heart, as they were your only friends, but while you said you'd never forget them you could sleep at night.

The day Avdol died you couldn't even cry.

You could have paused the moment if it was a movie, or stopped right there your lecture and do something else to distract you— and you don't even want to think about how The Chain could've helped you. But as you stare, seeing the bullet right through his head, you feel as if the ground had fallen under your feet.

'This can't be happening,' you tell yourself when his corpse—his body hits the floor. You ignore the hole, you must, he will soon get back up. He promised to help! 'Don't stand there, go and help!'

But your legs don't move, your mouth opens yet nothing comes out. You had foolishly thought in the past that because you read oh so much about death you would never have trouble with this in real life. But you stand there doing nothing, waiting for the wise man to come back.

He doesn't. He won't ever. And it downs on you that those 'deaths' were but pieces of paper and ink, not different from the ones you used to pay the bills or wipe yourself clean. It means nothing in the real world because there is nothing you can do in the real world.

But the worst part is to go on.

You think about it that night, and the night after that, and the night after that night, and the night after that one. You close your eyes, always so tired, always so sleepy, yet it's like your eyes won't ever dream because deep down, you know you could do something and yet did nothing.