So, I had considered myself a good student, nothing more and nothing less. However, even the best of students get tired of school. A friend and I were sitting bored out of our fucking minds in French class. This French class NEVER taught French by the way, the teacher tried but he just didn't. So, This friend and I thought, <Fuck School>, lets ditch and go get coffee because coffee is in fact not school. So the bell rings and we are planning it out in our heads like some kind of suburban mom teaching her children how to sneak food into a movie theater. Now, the problem when you are kids that have never missed school before unless you were sick and trying to ditch is that you are extremely anxious and not confident in any decision you are making. Should I tie my shoes extra tight so that I don't trip? Should I jump in a bush? If I get caught do I make a run for it? Do security guards have tasers? How will I ever live with myself if I ditch? What defines a platypus? These questions race our mind as our heart beats reach the hundreds and we haven't even left campus. The bell rings to conclude French class, and we dart outside into the parking lot that's conveniently right next to the class. We dart across the street and hide behind cars. Now, here is where it sets in that we have no idea what on earth we were doing.. because instead of going left (through the neighborhood and away from the front of the school) we go to the right(IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING SCHOOL), our plan was to go from the sidewalk then turn up it and go to the stores that were less than a mile away. However, if we were to walk up the street we would be in clear view of the school and its officials. CONSIDERING THIS.. we head up the sidewalk... we start walking and hear a man yelling "HEY"........ FUCK, OH SHIT, OH FUCK panic ensued.. we turn around only to see two security guard men from our school behind us,they question us.. Now me and my friend are fucking terrified.. we have no idea how to handle a situation like this sooo.. what we did was lie, about everything, because as you know whenever an authority stops you the best way to not get in trouble is to lie. We made up names and said we went to a different school.. The guards probably knew we were lying because we both were sweating like we had been watching hentai and our moms walked in. So they brought us up to the office and questioned us even more.. they then proceeded to look up our names and school to see if we had been telling the truth... Then the vice principal walked in and looked at me and said "Oh hey, I know you" and at that point I knew shit was fucked. At this point the school had just assumed that we were on drugs because OF COURSE EVERYONE THAT HAS EVER TOLD A LIE IS ON DRUGS, NO FLAWED LOGIC THERE... they brought me into the heath office to do what they called a "drug test" but I was so panicked that my results were super wavy and the lady, without doing what anyone with actual credentials would identify as a valid drug test said that I was on drugs... panic set in even more... WHAT THE FUCK... I never have even touched a cigarette let alone done any drugs... I was freaking out.. they called my parents and the principal had a talk with me about my testimony and apparently they gave my friend the test and their results were the same.. WELL OF COURSE THEY WERE... WE WERE FUCKING TERRIFIED... after talking to the principal a girl security guard pulled me in the other room.. she looked at me and said "It will just be better if you are honest"and " I was like you once" and "I have done them before too, just be honest" I kept telling her that I was honest and I will tell you, there is nothing more annoying than someone telling you to tell the truth when you are telling the truth. After that I had to sit down outside of the offices in a chair, this chair was perfectly positioned so that when my friends parents got there I could see their disappointment directed at me as they went to talk to the principal and their kid. I will never forget my friends dad's face when he looked at me, his stare was the stare of a man who just got out of prison from 10 years and was ready to murder the person who put him in there. THIS MAN THOUGHT THAT I HAD SOILED HIS PRECIOUS KID WITH DRUGS.Not long after, my mom and step-dad got to the school, basically a four way conversation of me pleading that I didn't do drugs while the three other people kept telling me to be truthful.. finally the principal concluded with a SUGGESTION of a real drug test,mind you this was just a suggestion we left the school. My mom took me to get a drug test, and WOW to my surprise, OH WAIT.. I am not surprised at all because I was clean. Then I was suspended for the next few days and so on. I want to say a week later my actual dad calls the school and finds out that I was suspended for being on drugs, and that it says that on my PERMANENT record... The vice principal then explained that we should have given him the results of the test beforehand, although HE NEVER SAID WE NEEDED TO... about a month later I took another drug test that would go back to the time of the event and WHAT, it was also showing that I was CLEAN, REMARKABLE... we sent in those results and then it was over..... until a year later... if you want the followup story let me know.
