Red Band Society

Emma Chota

Guysss, I am so sorry for the hold up! My school just finished with homecoming week, and I had a ton of homework on top of it all. This chapter was really rushed and has a ton of mistakes, but whatever. I hope you like it, but if you don't, please give me some feedback so that I can make it better. Love ya! By the way, there will be a lot of spoilers about past episodes. Yeah, sorry bout that.

-------------~~~~~~~~-------------------

I learned a long time ago that life is like a deck of cards; you deal with it. That is something that my grandfather used to tell me when I was little, before he died. Before I came to Ocean Park Hospital. Before my parents became obsessed with my disorder. Before I met Leo Roth.

Maybe I should have payed more attention to grandpa's "wisdom" back then, because I was caught between a rock and a hard place, and could really use some advice on how to deal with it. Things between Leo and I were getting confusing, and Jordi WAS NOT HELPING. First, Leo surprises me at the homecoming dance (how cute is he?) then, he kisses Kara (ugh, why did I call him cute?). I was pretty upset about that, until he kissed me last night. He KISSED me. He kissed ME.

And I kissed him back.

I remember looking into his eyes, those gorgeous eyes, and feeling something again. Not just stupid teenage hormones, it was something much more...it was like we were back to those first days together. It was everything we ever felt toward each other mixed with jealousy and anger and sadness....and love.

There was so much that I had wanted to say, but I didn't know how to say it. So, I decided to just let myself relax and enjoy the toast to Charlie. That was when everything started to go wrong. That was when Jordi held my hand.

And I know what you might be thinking, "Big deal, so the dude held your hand, so what?" Yeah, well, it is a very big deal. It is a very big deal because of the aforementioned kiss with a certain Leo Roth. It is a very big deal because of the look on Leo's face when he saw. It is a very big deal because I had my heart set on Leo and Jordi just picked it up and walked away with it. It is a very big deal because I did not want him to.

So here I am in my room, lying on my bed and thinking the whole thing over with great caution. Leo had always wanted to be more than friends; Leo cares about me. Jordi liked me, but waited until Leo and I had finally had a moment to begin pursuing me. I am having my doubts about Jordi's true feelings for me. We have only known each other for a short while, and his mom just left him. Maybe these new emotions for me were really just there to fill up the empty space left behind my his mother.

Of course, I still have my doubts about Leo as well. The same doubts that I had that night on the roof. The "just friends" night. Will he end it again? That same question goes back and forth in my mind as I groan in frustration. I resist the urge to scream into my pillow as Kara enters the room.

"Hi," she says quietly, sounding sad. Wow. I didn't know that she had any other volume setting besides "rude." And my confusion continues to grow. Great. "What's wrong, Kara?" What a stupid question to ask in a hospital, but I don't know what else to say to the girl who's been so mean to me the last couple of weeks. "Hmm, I don't know, maybe it's my ENLARGED HEART!" There's the Kara I know.

"Listen, Kara, I have bigger fish to fry right now, okay? I don't have time for this." Again with the wrong choice of words. Did I always talk like this when I had boys on the brain? Kara smirks, looking me up and down as she prepares to make an insensitive joke. I know that it's coming, I can tell by the look on her face. Surprisingly, it doesn't. Her smile fades and she simply nods in my direction as she walks out of my room and down the hall. I make a mental note to question her about this change in attitude later.

I rub my eyes gently and reach for the book sitting on my nightstand. What else is new?