99 Skinny ↠ LS

Prologue

Prologue;

Louis had skipped out on breakfast, not feeling too up to it. Although the smell of sausage and biscuits would usually coax him into filling up, the scent now made him gag, and his nose scrunch up in disgust.

Yesterday all he had eaten was a Special K fiber bar, nice and quick. Appetizing enough to get past the Doncaster boys now sensitive stomach.

He had been feeling slim and proud, happy to possibly be loosing weight. Sadly Louis didn't have a scale, nor did the hotels they stayed in over tour, so that he could keep track of his weight. All that he had to use to measure the amount of pounds he lost was how much bigger his clothes got each week.

For a while Louis had been proud of his weight and the multiple pairs of jeans he wore over tour fit quite nicely. He felt that maybe he was finally going to be happy with his appearance, until he scrolled through Twitter and seen a fan mentioning his new pair of black skinnys' looked to be painted on.

Louis decided skipping lunch or dinner that day would work out best as well. Two more meals wouldn't hurt. For now he'll live off gum and water, maybe the occasional cup of tea or granola bar.

Looking in the mirror is something Louis has been prone to avoiding for the past two years now; ducking past it as he exits him and Harry's bedroom or hotel room, saying no when Lou asks if he wants to see his finished makeup before a performance or interview. Also making sure to avoid it backstage.

When he sees his pants are a little too baggy while trying them on before an interview, a shiver runs up his spine. As a treat he lets himself eat only half of a ham sandwich.

By the end on endless interviews with multiple companies and many annoying interviews, Louis is riled up, just wanting to get back to the hotel so him and Harry can get a good fuck in and he can go to bed with something on his mind other than Modest and his weight.

But when Louis turns their light pecks into a lust filled french kiss Harry places a light hand on Louis chest letting him know that he's not in the mood and he's too tired.

If Louis was in a logical state of mind he would know that now just finishing the Where We Are Tour, Harry is extremely and tired and just happy to be on break. But with his current state of mind Louis is insecure and his thoughts tell him that Harry doesn't like what he sees.

So they go to sleep, finally at home in London, in their own bed. Louis lays alone and cold as a sleeping Harry rolls away from their big-spoon and little-spoon positions. All that Louis hopes is that Harry doesn't notice him sneaking out of bed and across the room and into their bathroom to shove two fingers down his throat, forcing up the three Oreos he had earlier.

He never meant for it to become this much of a routine in his daily life. But ever since he found the 'anorexia' tab on Tumblr, three months prior to the Take Me Home tour, he hasn't been able to stop. The images of skinny bodies and definitions of perfection made his goal seem a lot more worthy.

Maybe if he was skinnier the world would see him more as worth something and he himself would have the urge to respect his own body more.

At first it started with fasting. It required an eating schedule and healthier foods. It seemed as a way to loose weight quicker. Then it turned into skipping one meal once in a while. None of the lads questioned it. They were all too busy dealing with everything around them.

By the time their first world tour started Louis had only lost fifteen pounds, he counted, and he wasn't happy. That's when he turned to the alternative of bulimia, seeing as it was the only way to drop the weight faster. He didn't do it much, at first, but when nothing worked fast enough everything regressed immensely.

Louis began to skip at least two meals a day, refusing to eat any fast food. Harry had taken it as a way to not gain anything while they toured, and a way for Louis to stay in shape for football games.

Weight began to drop faster, but he didn't reach the perfect image he wanted himself to be. All he saw was fat. Large thighs, he could pinch the skin on his ribs, and he didn't like that. Louis didn't like a lot of things about his body, and he could put up with most of his imperfections, but that's one thing he couldn't stand.

It would be a win-win this way, Louis told himself. Harry would get the satisfaction of a boyfriend with a great body and he would look better when he was at concerts, football games, promo. Maybe he would even stop being so self-conscious, which Louis still doubted greatly.

Now that the Where We Are Tour had finally ended, Louis was happy to have five whole months to focus on himself and Harry, most of the time away from screaming fans. He would be able to travel around freely, as long as him and Harry didn't go out in public together.

Ever since 2012 when Louis noticed how skinnier the other boys were compared to himself, all he's wanted was the collar bones showing, maybe even a small thigh gap, the abs of a true athlete. Anything that would make him seem more presentable. And during these five months Louis was determined to reach his goals just in time for their next tour.

And that night, as Louis sat crouched down in front of the porcelain toilet bowl, he made a promise to himself.

'I'll reach my goal, ninety-nine pounds...even if it kills me.'