The Player's Game

I'm Losing

Four months, I can't believe Brian and I have been together for four months. Neither of us has said those three words; I love you. We have become closer, becoming almost best friends. I tell him things no one knows and he tells me things. I know the reason he stays at my house... His mother and brother abuse him and the only nights he isn't here he is at his dad's.

His mom hates me his brother tries to get into my pants, I hate going to Brian's house. Except when he's at his dad's.

Today, I'm not that lucky... He's at his moms and I have to go with Jimmy and Johnny to watch them have practice. I fallow Jimmy and Johnny to the door. Unlike at everyone else's house we knock here.

The door opens and Brian's mom Lori stands at the door.

"Hello boys!" She says not saying anything to me. "Come in!" we walk in and take off our shoes.

"Brian boys are here!" his mom yells, Brian jogs down the steps and smiled at us.

"Come on up guys," he says, we smile and fallow him. He takes my hand as he shuts his bedroom door pulling me on his lap.

"Hey Babe," he says pecking my lips.

"Hey," I say.

"What's wrong?" He whispers,

"Nothing," I say leaning back in him. "Just tried,"

"Take a nap, we won't bother you."'he smiles,

"That is a lie, I you will."

"I promise, I won't bother you. We will practice warm was on the soul that way it's nice and soft."

"Okay, if I come home with another penis on my face mom is going to kill me and all of you." I say getting up and laying on his bed I cover of and close my eyes. The bed smells like him, it's come to be a very comforting sent to me. There have been a one or two fun nights in this bed. I may or may not like Brian. I mean I do not love him be a small crush is how I will describe what I feel.

I know he doesn't feel the same, he never will. Once this is over I am sure he will go and get with Michelle.

The soft sound of Warmness On The Soul comes to my ears making me smile.

The song about Matt loving Val, the song Zacky wrote for Phara, the song Johnny sings to Iris, the song Brian never brings up to me.

I know I won't win this game. This is what he does, acts like he loves them then dumps them for the newest person.

I sigh knowing I am going to lose and I won't prove my point.

Brian's POV

I watch her as I play, her small body laying under my covers. It makes me think of the last time she laid in that bed. The last time she was there was right after we had sex a second time and that time I put everything I had I to it. I have never done that and it makes me think maybe she is winning. She can't win, I can't love her....

My mind drifts even farther thinking about her grey eyes and pale face. The other night she let me play connect the dots with her freckles. She giggled the whole time making her one dimple on the right side of her face right next to the corner of her lips.

I smile and play the song. She always say this is a pretty song, how Matt wrote if for Val. That's a lie, I had Matt tell everyone that so it covered the feelings growing for Faith. The song is about Faith.

God I'm going to lose and it's going to hurt like hell when I do....