SENSE1
Have you ever noticed how a siren sounds?
How it can almost sound like someone breathing very hard?
When a cop car or a fire truck or ambulance comes by it almost absorbs all other sounds and thoughts? It leaves us to wonder its purpose, why is it here with us?
I sit outside the school, waiting for my father to pick me up, The sirens ring in my ears. It's two or three cop cars and an ambulance. The sirens cover up what I don't want to hear.
The crying, the confusion, the calling of parents, the terrified teachers, the cops trying to see the damage, bystanders wondering what just happened.
"Dear god why, he did nothing wrong"
"It could have been something else, this doesn't happen here"
"I didn't hear any gunfire, that's not what happened right?"
"No man, there would be more cops here"
"Then why we out here"
"Officer Benson, please explain to me what happened, we are terrified, is there really a dead student?"
"Ma'am, everything will come out when it's ready"
SENSE2
As human beings we are inclined to wonder when we see these situations with our eyes.
Most people seeing an evacuated school, emergency services, crying teens, infer that maybe a fire took place, maybe it's a drill, the ones who've been traumatized by recent events infer a mass shooting
I spy with my little eye
A police man, shaking his head. Is he horrified at what he saw? Absolutely. He's not phased by much, he seems experienced. But he just knows the panic that will follow
I spy with my little eye
A teenage girl, in utter shock. She didn't see what the screaming girl saw, but what she heard through Teen Girl Telephone has shocked her. She looks as if she's going to pray, cry, scream, or all three.
I spy with my little eye
A news crew driving up, word travels faster these days. Homicide makes a good story regardless. It's not the news crew's fault, they're doing their job. Just like the adults should have done
I spy with my little eye
The ambulance crew, trying their best to hide the sheet covered body being loaded into the ambulance from the public
SENSE3
The nose is a feature we need more than we know. We take it for granted when it helps us breathe so well
You want to know what I smell?
I smell sweat and booze from that party almost 4 months ago
I smell it on the breathe of James, the most popular boy in school, when he came over to ask how i was
I smelled it as he smiled and asked about my classes, how he was sorry about me being dumped,
I smelled the fresh outdoors when I walked out with him to get fresh air
I smelled the stench of a clammy hand when it was over my mouth
I smelled his sweat increase as he did what he did to me behind that house
SENSE4
Humans love to taste right
It wasn't a good taste to vomit as he buckled his pants back up and left me there
It didn't taste good to bite into my pillow while sobbing like i've done for every night
It wasn't a good feeling to taste booze for a while because it took me back
Have you ever bitten your own tongue so hard it bled?
I've done it
I did it when my own parents told me not to lie when I told them
I did it when my friend told me that I can't just report him because even though she knew i was telling the truth, no one would believe me because of the crop top and shorts i wore that night
I did it when the principal told me that I wasn't in the right mind that night and to not dare report anything
Blood tastes awful, I feel my teeth begin to grind on my tongue right now as someone approaches me to ask if I know what happened today
SENSE5
Touch
A good touch is lovely,
A good touch shouldn't be when I begin to put pencil to paper planning my own escape from life
A good touch shouldn't be when I know what I have to do and I throw the blade away
A good touch shouldn't be making meticulous notes on his every movement
A good touch shouldn't be stealing the keys to the weight room to make a copy
A good touch shouldn't be looking through my father's workbench
A good touch shouldn't be making extra room in my bag
A good touch shouldn't be locking the door as he went in by himself for his work out
A good touch shouldn't be pretending to seduce him with a hand on his chest
A good touch shouldn't be slamming the back of my dad's hatchet into his ear drum
A good touch shouldn't be hitting him in the mouth when he tries to scream
A good touch shouldn't be the repeated strikes I slammed into his face
A good touch shouldn't be me holding my mouth trying not vomit from smelling the blood
A good touch shouldn't be my hand cleaning the tool and disposing of it carefully
A good touch shouldn't be the tapping of my desk after escaping back to class and the clench of my hand after hearing screaming coming from the area of my deed
Those shouldn't have been good touches
But they felt good
Maybe I'll feel the tightness of handcuffs against my hands.
Maybe i'll never see the outside of a cell again. Maybe i'll hear the judge give me a sentence. Maybe i'll taste nothing but prison food forever
Maybe i'll smell death approach me suddenly in prison
As for now
I think I have regained my senses
