HER EX

Twenty Five

Ethan's POV

Harper left the room and I wanted to run after but I don't want her to see me in this state.
I don't want her to see me cry and I want to give her the freedom to choose.
I won't try to influence her decision, I won't beg so that she will date me out of pity, I'll just let her choose who she wants, all I can do is hope she chooses me. A tear drop went down my face and I quickly wiped it up and stifled a sob, acting a man.
After cleaning up my tears and pulling up a straight face, I went to the living room to find Harper and tell her it's fine and she can keep waiting for Luke if that's what she wants, who knows, it might be true love. I walked into the living room but couldn't find Harper, she will be in the kitchen, I thought to myself and walked to the kitchen to find it empty.
"Fuck" I slammed my fist on the kitchen island and groaned, what have I done, I promised to be good and now I'm acting this way, she must have thought I was ignoring her, I sighed in defeat, losing every hope I once had, now she would wait for Luke, she only gave me one chance and I already fucked it up.
I slowly walked back to my room and grabbed my phone checking the missed call on my phone which was harpers. I called my phone with hers while she was asleep in an attempt to get her number.
I let my thumb linger around the call button for a while before dropping my phone with a sigh.
Even if I call, what am I going to tell her, what would I say? Gosh, I messed this up already, I closed my eyes and summoned courage.
I picked up my phone again, this time pressing the call button without hesitation. The phone rang and rang till I was finally directed to the voicemail which I declined.
I dropped the phone on the bed and went to the bathroom, perhaps, a shower would help.
I dropped my clothes into the laundry basket including the shirt I gave harper which laid carelessly on the edge of the bed.
I turned on the shower and waited for the water to cool down before stepping in and closing the glass that demarcated it from the rest of the bathroom. I let thoughts of harper take over me while I stop in the shower without moving. I can't believe I'm being a cry baby right now but men are humans too, we have emotions and I'm only being human right now. I let myself travel back in time to the conversations I've had with Harper, her beautiful smile, the way she talks and how she makes me smile, I let my thoughts wander to the kiss, and her soft boobs. Sighing only my palms, I gently pressed some shower gel into my palm and rubbed it all over myself, not caring to wash my hair, I gently worked the lather into my skin while the warm water fell on my body in heavy streaks.
I walked out of the shower 10 minutes later feeling better and ready to make decisions.
I got dressed in a pair of grey joggers, a white t shirt and a hoodie which I left unzipped and walked around the house for a while with my messy hair before deciding I would go and see Harper.
I stepped outside the house into the glory of a beautiful Sunday morning and got into my car.
I made a quick stop a pizzeria down the street and got Harpers favourite, barbeque sauce.
I waited to 15 minutes and got my order as soon as it was done.
The drive to Harpers place was pretty boring because I was thinking way too much.

I finally got to Harpers place and parked my car in a safe place before going in with the pizza.
I knocked at the door and heard footsteps but they didn't sound like they were coming to the door so I knocked again, calling out her name.
This time, the footsteps were towards the door and soon, Harper was at the door looking at me with a straight face.
"Harper, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of the things I said and shouldn't have acted the way I acted"
"Its fine, come in" she said, and made way for me to go in
"Thank goodness" I said as soon as I got in
"I got pizza on my way here, thought you would be needing something to eat since you haven't had breakfast"
"Thanks" she replied, still with a straight face
"Look, Harper, I'm very sorry, I apologise. If you want to stay friends, I'm willing" she remained straight
"Please?"
"Okay" she said and let a small smile on her face
I opened up the pizza and held one piece up to her mouth
"I'm not a baby, lol" she said with a smile and my mind fell at ease knowing she's at least smiling now
"Okay" I said and started eating the piece
"So has Luke called you since he left?" I asked her
"No he hasn't, I just hope he does, I hope he thinks about me and remembers every moment we shared" she said and I could feel the sadness in her voice
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you still love him that bad"
"I'm sorry too, I always wanted to kiss you and I thought it was love until you brought it up and I realized, Love and want are two different things"
"I always want it too, I just didn't know how you'll take it and I don't just want to kiss you once and get you on my bed, I want it to be you, all the time, I want only and I've never wanted anyone as bad as I want you in so many years. I'm not saying you should choose me, I'm just... never mind" I swallowed the last sentence and took another bite of pizza
"Ethan, I understand and I would love to give you a chance but giving you a chance doesn't mean we are dating, giving you a chance means giving each other what we want , when we can and me being free to leave when Luke comes back"
"I'm fine with whatever, as long as you leave only when Luke comes to find you and not when you find some other guy because I won't let you go" I replied knowing Luke coming back is just a 20/80 chance.
"Okay" she said and stood up after grabbing a piece of pizza for herself and going to the kitchen to get two cups of ice cream which we took silently while chewing on the pizza without talking to each other.
At least now, we are not just friends, its safe to say she sees me now as a friends with benefits but I see her as someone dear to my heart, someone I want to protect with everything I have, The woman I want to love for as long as I can.