HELP! The Devil In Me Needs To Fly,(LGBT, BOY*BOY)😈

chapter one,,

Before you read,, I am pleased to inform you that there will be a whole lots of cursing,,might have little bits of some I like to call blessed scenes just sit back and enjoy the ride and ,,there (humming,), well you know how it's goes,,enjoy!!!

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Chapter one

    His name will be Alexandra kellmar jr, he will grow up to be a successful surgeon married to a beautiful woman with at least three kids my father said with a wide smile on his face as he and other members of my family Including my mum, my older sisters and brothers as they gazed at me from the hospital cot I was In beside my mother who was still on the bed

   There it is my future has been stamped ,,ever since I was a baby without even giving me a chance to have a say, it's going to be a long ride hold tight
  
Let's go over this again

   Hey, am Alex, my father Mr Sebastian kellmar, and my mother Mrs Maria Sebastian kellmar,my father likes the name, which explains why anytime he enters the house the first name he shouts out is Alex!!  Which is pretty annoying cause we'll it's annoying.
  He claims I was named after my grandfather I never even met the man, ever since I was young my father has been calling me his young doctor ,I just look at him with a squeezed up face that says(what the FUCK old man,, I don't even like the sight of blood) but I don't think he ever notice me as he just smiled and ruffles my slik smushed hair

    I don't think I can ever change what life has, sorry I mean what my father has In plan for me,,
He made sure I went to a good school,, I went through middle school alright known as the nerd as I was known for always burying my face in a book,, I mean what choice do I have,

  What choice does a kid who future has already been set,laid out, planned
Very funny my dad even set out my sexuality for me .

   I wasn't allowed any freedom and when I got any it was maybe  an excuse to go the library with one of my brothers or sisters as escort to make sure I don't wander off

    I hated the life I was living so much , I desperately yearned for my freedom but what could I do,, when even my brothers and sisters were also living like zombies been told what to do, they always obeyed anything my parents said to them no arguments at all,

   It was as if I was living in a military zone,been the strict man and woman my parents were.
   They are Never wrong they claim,,we know what is right and what is wrong we have been through your stage before don't think we don't know how it goes

  My older brother Kelvin he's the fourth of us five kids, he's the only one am pretty close with even my older sisters and brother seem distant to me, we rarely get time to interact properly  ,as out time table for our activity has been set out immediately you enter my house you can see our schedule pasted right next to my baby picture on the bright blue wall,

Our schedule

Monday

5:00 wake up (an alarm clock has been set in the sitting room, the alarm clock is so fucking huge and so annoyingly loud you have no choice to wake up when it starts ringing am pretty sure it wakes up our neighbors also, although I hear no one complaining, but am sure it does)

5:00-5:30 prayer time

(thank God it's personal up in your room,  I won't lie I don't do it, because I always sleep off well you can't blame a kid, I make sure I sit up pretending to read something in case well, father comes In To check on me)

5:30:6:00get dressed for school (fucking school)

6:00-6:30
breakfast

6:30:700 off to school
(even though classes don't begin until 9,i know we are two hours early,,)

3:00 schools over
(wait outside for daddy or mummy whoever shows up)
3:10:3:30
lunch
3:30:5:30 siesta
(compulsory,can only bail out if there's  a group project and it has to be at my house, if not am not going,, I fucking hate my life, so I try desperately to always make sure every group project work falls at my house and we always work in the sitting room where my father's prying eyes can spy on us) 
5:30-6:30 homework,, read,, do your shit but it must be school related

6:30-7:00
dinner
7:00-7:30
tv,,educational channel
7:30-8:30
tell what we learned at school

8:30-9:30
test us on whatever we claimed we learned at school

9:30-10:00prayer time
10:00lights out

It's the same fucking schedule every fucking day excepts  Fridays when father tries to include game night somewhere in between dinner ,(,huff! It would have helped If those games were actually games kids my age played)
that means we eat while having game night,, argghh!!! So annoying and Saturday when we have laundry time, and Sunday when we do other boring shit

  Am not so sure if my mum and other sisters and brothers are tired of the schedule,, they have been following it ever since they have been born or married to him?, however, it doesn't even work for them anymore just I and Kelvin, and Mara,(the third child)  Kelvin and Mara are both in high school, ken(second child),lola(first child),,are both in college,, they are always away from home, they only come home during the holiday,, they should be free right but no I they are still brainwashed to following the stupid schedule dad tucked into their hands when they were each leaving for college
Would it be weird if I say I rarely know Lola,, I mean she's my oldest sister right she's supposed to be Caring towards me, But no she's cold,, super cold towards me,  I always thought it was only me but I discovered no,, that's just how she is towards everyone else ,,in fact I should say everyone is cold towards each other only Kelvin seems to warm up to me,,

I don't even have a girlfriend,, who am I kidding, I have never even kissed a girl or held hands with one,, but I hear how the boys In my class boast about which girl they have fucked or who they will be fucking next,, they talk about it and give fucking detailed  information which has me masturbating in my room,,with muffled sound as I don't want to be heard during siesta, I would really do anything desperately during that time to watch some porn, but no, I don't even have a  phone,and using the rusty Computer is so tiring,, it takes years to boot and its only used on Sunday by the kids except my parents who use it anytime they wish and I would hate to be that kid caught watching porn,, boo hoo

I don't even have any friends,, I try to tell my mum,, been the shy kid I have been forced to become, but my mum just parts my hair gently saying, friends are distractions,, the real ones that will stick with me will come my way (what the fucking FUCK)
I need friends damn it, though I dare not say that out loud,, cursing is seriously frowned upon, am a fucking zombie
Though I am really brilliant at school,, which actually made me a little popular as kids are always coming my way to help them with one thing or the other,, kids am totally scared to talk to,, cause it's not in my fucking schedule!!
(I hate my life, fucking life)

   I tired so hard to break away from the way my life has been planned out,, but no I can't escape it, I'm always pulled right back into it, that I gave up, well until I entered high school ,  ,