the wine disaster

Part 1 i guess?

Someone stole my mums wine bottle

Holy shit, they must need some wine in their system really badly

*cough* dad *cough cough*

*cough cough* alcoholism *cough cough*

*intense wheezing* drunk *collapses from coughing*

*goes into coma whilst coughing* seriously dad wtf *dies*

*At funeral* fucking bitch give the bottle back *is buried*

*screaming-coughing while inside the coffin underground* never *screeches and dies again*

*Lightning strikes coffin, reanimating corpse* If you don't give the bottle back you have non epicness *Is hit with shovel and dies again*

*rises like jesus* i will never give the bottle back *and goes straight down to hell*

*being pierced by pitchfork* do it before it is too late *is set on fire*

*is lap dancing the devil* no fucking way buddy *sees dad descend into hell*

*wakes up from coma* OH SHIT A RAT! *jumps frantically* (also just give the damn bottle back dad)

*walks upstairs to see dad sleeping with the bottle in his asshole* ... *screeches*

*deadass tops my ones* I don't know how to respond to this dad *Runs out of the room and karate kicks a window*

*sees muhammad ali standing outside as the window shatters onto his head* holy shit *cries*

*Muhammad Ali winds up a punch* oh no *gets put into another coma*

*has dream about sexting andre the giant* wait maybe im lesbian *wakes up again*

*visible confusion* Hey Muhammad do you have a minecraft guide book? *pulls out laptop with minecraft on it*

*Muhammad screams into ear deafeningly* well shit *runs down the street*

*Muhammad chases and throws minecraft book in general direction* THIS BE A GREG MOMENT *gets hit in face with book*

*goes into yet another coma* hey andre can we facetime *andre says no and cries*

*wakes up* mayonnaise amirite ladies *runs into the bushes*

*kicks leg on a rock* Do the stanky leg * The Rock stands up and reveals himself*

*rips off shirt and asks The Rock on a disco date* hee hee *puts on cracking good 30's classics and breakdances*

*Michael Jackson appears and hee hees* Yes the dancing will be fantastic *The Rock and michael jackson both do the moonwalk and hee hee*

*eats michael's ass* my name is inigo montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die *hits The Rock with a rock and runs outside*

*Michael chases while dancing* I'm gonna get you back to Neverland *Hee Hees with fervor*

*runs into house and finds peppa in the bed* peppa, whatre you doing in my bed? *peppa jumps into underwear and you keep running*

*Michael and Peppa join forces and give chase* Me and Peppa are combining as one, Hee hee style! * Me and Peppa are combining as one, Hee hee style! *Peppa and Michael fuse into a single being and run faster than before*

*oranges fly from out of the sky* crap oh heck oh darn its an orange attack *the michael-peppa fuse and you joing forces and smoke a bit of weed under a tarp*

*annoying orange falls from the sky to join* Hey, hey Apple (annoying laughter) *Peppa-Jackson disintegrates the foul creature* 

*acid rain begins to fall from the sky as you transform into a roblox character* you have been banned from the mickey mouse clubhouse for inappropriate behaviour *plays disaster game*

*falls into lava during the game of disaster and Monsters Inc theme earrape edition comes on* Hello fellow Christian, I'm afraid you have been caught LACKING. Leave a like and you'll be ok *Jumps into the void and appears in an obby game*

*out of nowhere an uber appears and carries you to the end of the game* ging gang goong ging gang goong ging *jumps out the window of the uber and to the bottom of the roblox earth*

*Appears in Roblox hell* Wait, this seems familiar somehow *Roblox death sound plays*

*goes back into coma memories of lap dancing the devil* that face when you (bottom text) *you find michael-peppa on the throne of the devil as you realise you befriended the devil*

*Peppa-Jackson recognises you and does a stoner laugh* Welcome this domain friend, you wanna join me on the throne, you may acquire the spit laced trident *'Mixed raced parents? CRINGE' starts playing as you sit next to him*

*you give michael-peppa a lap dance just as you did in your coma* making daddy proud *glances down into the furthest descents of hell*

*Sees dad looking up with a smile on his face* THAT'S MY KID! *Peppa-Jackson looks at him intimidatingly and does a 'shoosh' motion with his fingers as he gets back to his phone call while you continue to give him a lap dance*

*you suddenly spot danny devito lowering from the surface* BROTHAAAAAAA *he squeals like a pig*

*Peppa-Jackson gets a scared look on his face* NO, NOT YOU BROTHAAAAAAA! ANYONE BUT YOU! *Hee hees extremely nervously and fearfully*

*next, jim parsons comes from the earth* SISTAAAA *he's wearing a gown with the finest jewels and eating caviar*

*Michael and Peppa defuse* No Jim, get back, I don't need answers, I need sleep! *Peppa runs away as fast as she can, oinking the peppa trademarked oink as Jim Parsons gives chase*

*you chase danny as he chases michael as he chases jim as he chases peppa* ocean man, take me by the hand, take me to the land *you stop because you're extremely unfit and need some rest*

*You look up and see the gates of hell, but your fatass swore it was lasanga* I'm about to do what's called a pro gamer move *collapses in the middle of the gates as you fall asleep*

*danny devito tries to help you up but ends up groping you* retail. *you wake up and slap him in the ass*

*Danny Devito leans over to pick up something* OOPS! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my MAGNUM DONG *The sight of him bending over brings you to your knees at once as you praise him and his holy presence*

*michael jackson hee hees with raging jealousy* I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BITCH *he screams and runs at you like a bull in a china shop* 

*You pull a red blanket out of Danny Devitos ass and use it to make him charge you faster* Under this blanket is Pornhub Kids Michael, find them and take them to Neverland *You absorb Michael into the blanket as he fearfully hee hees*