The Song of the Keepers

Chapter 44 Some Things Will Change

It wasn't until the following afternoon that I was able to track down Solomon, amidst his daily chores. He was polishing a small oak bookcase with frosted glass doors in the King's study when I approached, my heart beating at twice its normal rhythm.

"Hey."
I said by way of greeting.

He glanced up, an array of emotions flickering across his features.

"Hey."
He finally said back.

"Um, can we talk?"
I twiddled my thumbs behind my back anxiously.

He set his dusting polish and rag down on an end table, watching me expectantly. I inhaled and exhaled, trying to collect my thoughts.

"I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday. I was caught off guard and I didn't think before I reacted."

"You never do Astrid."
Solomon told me in a frustrated tone.

"I know, I'm trying to get better, really I am."

I bit my lower lip, knowing yesterday's actions weren't backing up my words very well.

"Look, please understand that while my actions were unacceptable, it stemmed from good reasons."

Solomon huffed.

"If you are going to preach at me about Jasmine again you can walk right back out that door."

I pressed my fingernails down into my palm, taking a deep breath in and out. I wasn't here to argue with him.

"I'm not, you've made your feelings on the subject quite clear. Just please know that I only want to protect you. I don't want to see you get hurt out of this. I love you, Solomon."

I hoped he could at least understand that.

"The only one hurting me here is you."

The comment stung more than he could have known.

"I don't want that. I promise that no matter how much of a jerk I have been, I have never wanted to see you hurt."

"Look sis, I love you dearly, and I know you have been through a lot. But you can't go around treating people the way you do and expect them to put up with it forever. Maybe Jasmine doesn't like you and was just too afraid to tell me, and you know I really couldn't blame her."

It wasn't fair. He hadn't lived with the crippling depression I had. He hadn't had his memories stolen and replaced so his head was a jumble of confusion. He hadn't been forced to fight in the Tournaments and join the Order of the Keepers. I blinked back my tears. Once he has tried to understand, now it seemed he had finally had enough. Ranen's words replayed through my head and I struggled to pull myself together. This wasn't about me and how unfair life had been. This wasn't about forcing him to see my point of view.

"Solomon, I don't want to fight with you. I don't want to lose my brother. I'm not asking you to forgive and forget the way I've been, I'm just asking for us to be able to move forward."

"I want to Astrid, I really do. I've always been able to see beyond your prickly nature and brush off your harsh words because you're my sister and I don't want to lose you. But I'm marrying Jasmine sis, whatever you may think of her. She's the most important woman in my life now, and I have a responsibility to take care of her."

He hadn't changed, not really. He was still my adoring, protective, loyal, brother. Just the subject of his deep affection had shifted and I didn't know how to handle that. At least now though, I understood it.