Before I asked myself questions I never found answers for I was quite a peach, my worries back then mostly were what I'd wear or what I should eat, I mostly revisit those days wonder how I ended up here "a place where my thoughts weren't my friends" How did I end up here? Now that's a question I can give you an answer to, it all started at age 15, bubbling with life and ready for whatever life had in store for me problem herein is life had a silo planned, I'd like to think I could've handled it if I was taught, My secondary school never bothered themselves with the students mental state if only they knew that it was the only one that mattered, if only someone had told them "the mind is a powerful place" alas it has fallen on my shoulders to not tell my school but also my peers and I hope they listen. I'd just gotten admission to study Linguistics and Nigerian languages at a prestigious university and you'll think I found my purpose and for a while I did too, I was young, too young and ill equipped to meet one of life's friend "experience" for most of my encounter during this course I lacked it, I made the rules up as I went and who was there to admonish me if I did wrong?, They were my rules after all but life kept scores and till today it reminds me of the results of my actions as I've come to learn "Memory is both a blessing and a curse" my grades never suffered during the first year and maybe if it did my folks would've noticed and help could've have arrived, "IF" I just scoffed while I wrote this, my folks haven't noticed anything about me of late while pointing fingers at them could ease the weight on my shoulders it would alleviate the burden on my chest, My folks are good people, they've always been and will always be. So what changed me? Sadly I have failed to give a clear answer to this question was it the environment I found myself in? Was it the sudden realisation that people only help you when it's beneficial? Or was it that after many years being guided, pampered and loved I finally realised I was alone in this world? My mind races with answers my heart mutes it's decision. I was a boy full of love,hope,desire and energy but the world I stepped into only had room for one thing "Survival" and sadly this was not in the curriculum of what I was expected to learn and what an irony it was that the greatest thing needed to survive was not in the class that prepared me to be a Man.
