Who Killed Abagail Spencer?

Prologue

I gripped the sheets in panic, shivers rolling over my body in waves. I breathed heavily, my body twisting and turning. My bed was a mess of sheets and pillows, but inside my mind, an even bigger storm swirled.

It was the same dream I had had every night since it happened. The car crash.

Different versions of the same memory. I knew what would happen but every time I heard her giggle or saw the red barn we passed I tried to change the outcome.

We were happy that day. All the windows were rolled down in my car, the stereo was blasting a Troye Sivan song, and our laughs mingled with the wind whipping through our loose curls.

I admit- that day I drove slightly recklessly. But I was giddy because that night Adam- my long time crush- and I were going to hangout. And I was about to be late.

Abigail, her sister May and I decided to go to the mall to get smoothies and some clothes as the first day of school was approaching. It wasn't more then a month from then, but already so much has changed.

I sped passed the red barn, didn't realize I was going thirty over the speed limit- didn't help that it was getting dark, and before I knew it, I hit a deer that had jumped in front of my car.

In my dream, it was a deer that we hit. In every dream, there was something that told me that this wasn't real. That Abigail wasn't alive anymore.

We spun around and flipped upside down in a ditch. It all happened so fast that Abigail died with laughter in her throat. I had a funny feeling in my stomach, and May's screams filled the air, the lights from other cars spinning and bending as they passed us, no one slowing down.

My stomach lurched and i remember throwing up in the car, then blacking out. But this time, I didn't. I couldn't close my eyes either, or look away. My head was turned towards Abigail, her blonde hair falling around her limp head, her eyes staring a hole through the ground.

I blamed myself for the whole thing. How was it fair that I got away with only a cracked rib and broken leg, while May- shortly after screaming- fell into a coma, and my best friend died. How was it fair that I didn't die either? That I got to eat hospital food while May was being fed fluids through a tube and Abby will never eat again? Or graduate and go to her dream college and create a business, or marry her boyfriend, Sebastian- or have a family. Everything she wanted.
After she died, i wanted nothing but to join her.

~
I had been having this dream for an entire month. At first, I thought that it was happening again. I woke up screaming, somehow tricking my mind into thinking I got Abby back again and I killed her without being able to change anything. Then I realized that it was just a nightmare, that I hadn't gotten her back.

I never escaped the nightmare. I live it while awake, I see it in her sisters closed eyes while she battles the coma. I see it in her parent's eyes.

Tonight was no different. Sweat coated my skin, and violent shakes stopped me from continuing my dream. I woke up with tears covering my face, my leftover mascara I was too tired to wipe off last night streaked my cheeks and my hair was a mess.

Deciding I had no chance of going to back to sleep- it was already 5 a.m. anyway- I slid out of bed and yawned, heading downstairs for some water.

I tiptoed to the kitchen- which was difficult, seeing as I needed crutches-, and slid a glass out of the cupboard, crossing the floor to get to the fridge. I froze when I saw a flash of color run across my backyard. I put the glass down on the counter and leaned against the sink, looking out the window.

After looking for a minute more, and deciding I was going crazy, I shrugged and got my water, going up to my room.

I got my clothes ready, because although I wasn't very excited, it was still the first day of Senior year.

Mom decided for me that I should lay low this year, don't get into trouble and trouble won't come to me. If only she knew that trouble always knew where to find me.

A month ago, the first day of school was all Abby could think about. She was a big romantic with the sweetest heart and the most sarcastic sense of humor. She picked out my first day outfit- which consisted of a jean skirt, a shirt tucked in and vans. It was comfy and something she always wore. Looking at the outfit sparked good memories of her and I slipped into it quickly.

Wiping off my stray mascara from yesterday, I looked into the mirror. I didn't used to hate my looks before the crash. But now I couldn't help but think harmful thoughts.

Monster was most of them.

It was almost 7 when I finally got downstairs, done. Ready- well that's a relative term- but ready for school. I kissed my mom's cheek and refilled my dad's coffee- which had gotten cold. He glanced up from his textbook and smiled.

"Hey Del, ready for your first day?" I internally groaned. He had been taking some classes for his job- an appraiser, and he was almost done. I was proud of him but that also meant more time to talk about something I had been dreading for the past month- school.

"Define ready." I stated, and he chuckled. I grabbed a yogurt and hobbled quickly to my moms car. I had totalled mine over the summer and she decided that she would drive me until January when I would get off of a cast and be done with physical therapy. "Bye dad!" I yelled before slamming the garage door shut and making my way to the mini cooper car my mother called her own. It was a faded ugly green but the 'mileage' was good so she hadn't traded it out yet.

My mother was out there as some might put it. She wore yoga pants everyday and always lit scented candles in every room. She was into the whole chakras and numbers thing.
My dad on the other side was very professional. He calmed my mother down from her antics and my mom took my dad out of his comfort zone. They balanced each other perfectly and loved each other tons.

"Why is Delancy riding with us?" My annoying younger brother Ryder called out from the backseat once I plopped into the passengers. "Is it cuz she totalled her other one?" He asked.

"Ryder! I told you-" my mother trailed off as she pulled out of the garage. I sighed and leaned back into my seat. The radio was on softly and in a flash I slammed the power off. I breathed heavily, my mother swerving slightly at the action, and my brother jumping in his seat.

"Delancy, what's wrong?" My mother asked, throwing me a side glance. I attempted to calm down, but the lyrics were stuck in my head already.

Go slow, no, no, go fast
You like it just as much as me
Now, let's stop running from love
Running from love
Let's stop, my baby
Let's stop running from us

I again sat back and shook my head. "It was the song," I breathed, not letting my eyes close. "It was the song."

"What dear? You know I can't hear you when you mumble." I waved her off.

"Its nothing mom, it's fine." If a single song caused me to freak out this much, well, cheers.

Here's to entering hell.