JUST LIKE HEAVEN / BTS.

persona, who the hell am i?

persona, who
the hell am i?

TAGS: taejoon / trans* au / non-binary taehyung / tw: gender dysphoria / self discovery / namjoon in skirts and dresses / highschool au / fluff w a smidge of angst.
PLAYLIST: disorder / joy division, boys / beach bunny, intro: persona / bts, WHO? / stray kids, heartbeat / bts

NOTES: had a dream of namjoon in a skort so this is tge product of my brain.... rmbr when he actually wore a skirt in like 2016... namjoon says fuck gender roles pass it on

( 🎀 )

   IT'S ONE OF those days where everything feels stretched out and long winded, lazy and hazy, the spring sun warming up as march nears it's end. seventeen is a confusing time, kim namjoon muses, standing in front of his mirror with arms crossed, music drifting around his attic room. the world is complicated, and seventeen only seems to make it weirder, because he never felt so confused about things before. before it was only maths, perhaps, that confused him. but now, well... there's a collective myriad of confusing things. boys. feelings. depression. anxiety.

his inexplicable urge to wear a skirt.

it happened two weeks ago. he had been at the mall with jimin and his newfound best friend, taehyung, who is the first transgender person namjoon had ever encountered. he'd been pulled around multiple stores, watching jimin scream over taehyung's choices in high waisted jeans and cropped t-shirts, perusing clothes by himself while taehyung tried on multiple items.

namjoon had never really ventured into the women's section of tk maxx, never felt much of a need to, not that he has any aversion to women's clothes. but taehyung was trying on multiple items from the section, as they reject gender norms in any way, shape or form, so namjoon inevitably ended up there. he'd been trying to find a way out when he saw it.

short, light grey and beautifully positioned on the mannequin. a skater skirt, the advertising sign named it, minimal in design, with layered pleats, a silky underlayer that peeked out from below the rest of it, black lines forming a pattern of squares. it ended above the knees on the mannequins long legs, and the store had paired it with black fishnets that stretched beautifully, even on plastic. namjoon doesn't know what possessed him; he reached out, to touch, to feel the silk, the smoothness of the fabric, brush the pleats, and it was so soft and desirable beneath his calloused fingertips, such a stark difference to the rough denim of boy's jeans.

seven thousand won. that's all it cost, physically. emotionally, what a rollercoaster.

the skirt ends just above namjoon's pink, bruised knees, and the fishnets stretch over his muscled calves and thick thighs in a way that makes his head spin. the pleats, the silk against his skin: it's too much. he looks... he looks pretty. with his black hair and his grey skirt and his fishnets, and the joy division t-shirt he slept in, he looks pretty. and oh god, is he having a crisis.

namjoon has never worn feminine clothing, ever. not even for shits and giggles. he's not adverse to it, he hates gender roles as much as the next teenager, but he'd never given it thought. but oh boy, is he giving it thought now. the skirt looks so different, so exciting, so pretty pretty pretty. he feels pretty, and it's making his head hurt.

swiping his phone from his chest of drawers, namjoon falls onto his bed with a huff and goes to the only place he can think of when he's having this specific dilemma: his instagram dm's with taehyung, a non-binary person who hates gender as a whole concept, and the only person with a dick that namjoon's ever seen wear skirts.

kithtaehyung
active now

tae o fuck man r u there bud
i Need some help
desperately