J. this is for you.
(jordan is not his real name, i changed it but his name starts with j. and the name of the other guy starts with k. but it's not kyle.)
hello jordan,
i know you will never read this jordan, but this is my love letter to you i never wrote.
i wish i would've written a love letter to you, but sadly i didn't. you did once, and it was the saddest but cutest letter i've ever read in my life. it was your goodbye-letter.
oh jordan i don't know where to start. can you remember how we met? it all started at the halloween party from your classmate and my best friend.if someone would've told me that i will meet the love of my life there i would've probably laughed.
jordan i can't forget you. it's 1 am in the morning and instead of sleeping i'm writing this love letter you'll never read.
jordan you are a wonderful guy. you always said that you are a bad guy but you always proved me the opposite, you proved that you are the nicest, most caring guy on earth.
i miss our late night talks jordan. i even miss your laugh, your nervous laugh you had because you didn't know what to say when i told you how much i liked you. i appreciate every moment i had with you, jordan. every minute with you was like on a roller coaster. we had ups and downs but i always forget the downs because the ups are most important to me.
jordan i'm crying right now. why did it have to end like this? why couldn't we avoid all this pain i'm going through? it hurts jordan, really, it hurts. i'm hurt.
you broke my heart so many times, i broke your heart so many times. but jordan i never stopped loving you baby. your jokes are so bad and i hate your sense of humour but you made me laugh. i'm so scared to ever see you again jordan. i'm scared to end up crying in a corner thinking of you the whole night. i'm scared to feel the butterflies in my stomach again.
we aren't meant for each other jordan, we both know that. the distance kills me but i know that the closeness would kill me even more.
oh jordan you said i should focus on other guys and that's what i did. i focued myself on one guy, he's called kyle. i actually thought it could work, but he is an asshole jordan.jordan he isn't you. i thought he could be better than you but nobody can jordan.
you asked me to delete your number and i did that but i wanna text you so badly, ask you how you are. you are in kosovo with your family right now. i just hope you have fun and that you enjoy the time.
i hope that you don't think of me like i think of you, jordan.
i'm praying that you'll find a better girl than me. that you'll find a girl who loves you like i did or who even loves more than i ever could love you.
you deserve the world, jordan.
i will never forget you and the memories we both share.
a little part in myself hopes that you won't forget me.
in love
sel
