Blink

1

Floating, Flying, and Falling. Whats the difference between the three? One is graceful. One is powerful. And the last is neither, actually the complete opposite of the other two.

Feels like all I do is f-

"MACY YOU'RE LATE GET OUT OF THE FUCKING SHOWER!"

And I'm awake. Thanks mom, really appreciate it.

I turn off the water and wrap myself in a towel. When my hair is wet it looks black, even though I have light brown hair. When I go to pick out my outfit for the day I get plain everything, plain black jeans, plain grey t-shirt and plain black sneakers. My hair is kept in a plain pony tail and the only sort of makeup I put on is Chapstick.

Me and my mom don't wear makeup. Mostly because we can't afford any but also because we don't like to look like barbies. At least that's just what she tells me.

"MACY DAMMIT! WE HAVE TO GO! NOW!!"

I fly down the hall grab my backpack and walk out the door after my mother. Mondays are never good days in the Bing house.

"sorry mom I got up late."

"how many times do I have to tell you to keep your curtains and window open so you wake up when the sun rises and the birds start to chirp its much easier to wake up when the sun is in your face."

"yea ok I'll try it tomorrow"

Looking out the window I watch the house slowly disappear from view. The only house I've known that is dull and falling apart. They say houses resemble the people who live in them. Like a mansion will be snobby rich people. Well our broken, falling house does look a lot like me and my mom. Plain, slightly leaning, and falling apart.

When I can finally go to college I will have everything paid for and can save up money for a real house. But now I gotta live with the rusty car and the moldy house.

Once we arrive at school my mood immediately drops.

"get out of the car fat ass I'm late for work!"

"everyone would kill to have a mother like you" sarcasm for the win

"Fuck it you get to walk for the rest of the year!"

"fine it'll be much nicer anyways!"

She drove off even before I got to shut the door. I think I saw her throw the bird out the back window but she was too far away for me to tell. I hope she gets a flat tire. 

I haven't felt anything for my mom since I was 5 and she got so drunk she beat me for hours then locked me in the basement. I was down there for two whole days and I didn't dare scream out of fear she would hurt me again. I had cried until no more tears would come and I thought I would pass out. I did find some beef jerky down there but I could only eat so much until it made me sick. Long story short she forgot about me until one of the neighbors asked to play with me a little more than 48 hours later.

Since then I have never cried or even teared up. I also can't stand the smell of jerky. I never loved my mother but I depend on her for now.

Walking through school no one notices me because I am simply so plain. People I have known for years and actually talked to or played with or worked on school projects with don't even acknowledge that I am a person. Nobody knows my name, even some teachers don't. And I'm ok with that because I don't have to worry about being picked on or called on in class.

Life goes on, I go through the motions. Its all muscle memory to me now. And I get through school without having to say a single word. Its been like this for almost 12 years. Once I graduate I plan on changing that though.

After school I must start the long trek home. We don't live too far from the school but far enough that it takes a good chunk of my time.

Once I get home I finish my homework, get an outfit out for tomorrow, and eat a small dinner of mac-n-cheese. I'm really surprised I'm not overweight. My mom calls me fat on the daily, I'm not model worthy but could improve yes. I'm mostly muscle.

After dinner I go and take a short run to the park, around the track four times and back. That equaling almost 2 miles. Once I'm changed and in bed I wait for sleep to come.

What was it that I needed to do? I have to be forgetting something if I can't sleep............. the window!

Quickly hopping up to open the blinds and crack open the window a little bit, I hurry back to bed to not lose any warmth I created. There now I can relax.

 Every blink becomes longer and my eyelids get heavier I hear mom's car pull up, she gets out walks toward my window opens it up hops down covers my mouth.

I'm floating. Up out of the warm sheets into warmer arms, up, up, up..........

Then I fall