coffee. cigarettes. daydreams.

silenced love

It’s 2am and I pass the streets marked with drunken walks and cuddles that only you and I seem familiar with. We’ve had our fair share of gasoline to throw on to the pit fire that was created by the frigid blue night, only to be put out by inaudible tears on your cold shoulder and ears against your chest where I would hear your heart beat for someone else.

It’s 2am.

I do nothing.

But Sometimes I wait for the whispers of the wind under the light of the moon to tell me that I’m good enough. I wait for decades for my poetry to get better and tell me what I deserve to know. I wait so damn long to not realise that i could easily watch myself get kissed by the sunlight in-front of a glass mirror. I’ve waited so damn long for me to realise i was worth loving — even by my own self.

Or sometimes I doubt and doubt and doubt all the love and happiness that was ever felt inside of me — All because of you who had taught me how to swim in the abyss of my dark thoughts ; all because of you who taught me how to dance in the wind of hushes and opinionated voices of people . All for it for me to have my legs and arms cut and be pulled down and drown in my own sorrow and for me to be in a mess of a hurricane made by a pretty boy with pretty eyes who had a thing for experimenting and fixing people in ways, emotionally atleast.

But for the first time in a year, I thank the boy who had been my partner in creating this beautiful tragic that had seem to be a crime in peoples’ hearts for leaving ;

For teaching me that love is just pain sugarcoated with beautiful words and love affairs of broken hearts trying to find its reincarnation ;

And for being brave enough for him to love me in his own miserable and beautiful way.

It's 2am.

Nothing but thoughts are wandering from portal to portal, from memory to memory, and from what if to then.

It's 2am.

With nothing but the question :
If you are
the one
for me
Why cant i be
The one
For
You