The Arcana Julian Devorak Reversed

Judgement

Julian POV

Leila stops to survey the path ahead as we reach the foot of the mountains after our meeting with the World. "According to The World, we should start by heading northwest to find the Satrinavras in Prakra. Malak, can you fly out ahead to check out our surroundings?" Malak nibbles on her hair and gives an approving caw, and takes off.

I look at Leila; she smiles that beautiful smile when she looks at me that makes her whole face light up. Oh, my sweet, wonderful Leila. After all, I've done, I'm amazed that she'd have anything to do with me. I can't help but think about all the trouble I've caused my whole life. I've made a lot of mistakes, but never like this. All I ever wanted was to keep those I love safe, and I can't even do that. I know we are in this together, but I can't help but listen to the little voices in my head telling me that everyone would be so much better off without me.

Leila, the angel that she is, understands me so well. Her lovely smile fades into a frown as she seems to read the thoughts on my face. "What's wrong, Julian?"

"There's so much more work to be done. Such a big task ahead of us, and so much is at stake. I feel like I'm just deadweight here. With you leading this expedition, Scout guiding us, and even Malak has been incredibly useful in scoping out our surroundings. I'm just a worthless leech that's dragging everyone down."

*SLAP* I open my eyes wide in shock as I feel the sting where her hand hit me in the face. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy that." She says with a smirk. I feel my face go hot. I raise my eyebrow. "Well, I can't argue with you there. But why'd you do that?" "If anyone hurts you, I'm going to kick their ass. Even if that someone beating you up is you."  She grabs my talon and pulls me in close to her. Her lips brush my ear as she softens her voice. "Julian, you're not a deadweight, and you're not worthless. You give me purpose. If I hadn't met you, I might've just given up and rolled over when Lucio stole my body. There would've been no reason to keep going and keep trying. All I ever want in this world is to be with you." I pull back from her slightly so that I can look her directly in the eyes. I see the truth written on her face. I wrap my wings around her and pull her into me. No matter how close she is, it's still not enough. I kiss her again and again. "Arruff" "cawcaww" We're startled apart, suddenly realizing Scout and Malak are still impatiently watching us. I clear my throat and reluctantly let her go. "Well, I suppose we better get a move on. The day is not going to save itself." And with that, we set out on our journey.

We make it to the small village just on the outskirts of Prakra. It's rustic and quiet. "We better stop for the evening and rest. These cottages seem nice and quaint. Let's find one to stay in." I walk up to the door of the nearest cottage. I'm just about to knock on the door when it opens to Dr. Nazali Satrinava standing on the other side.

"Dr. Satrinava!" I see the surprise cross their face as they look me over. "My dear Julian, how you have changed. You look like you've been to hell and back." I hang my head in shame. "I can't imagine what you must think of me. Seeing me like this." They raise their eyebrow. "I'm not here to pass judgment on you." They look over, "Leila! It's good to see you again as well. I hope you've been doing better than in those dire circumstances when we last met. My sisters are up in the Palace. They would love to see you again. Do you mind if I steal Julian from you briefly while I go to my next house call?"

"Your next house call?" I look over to Leila. She smiles at me and nods. "I'll let you two catch up with each other. I'm going to take Malak and Scout to the Palace. I'll see you later, love." Leila walks off in the palace direction, and I follow Dr. Satrinava.

"There's been a resurgence in deaths from the plague keeping me busy here. I've spent time in this village with the residents trying to combat it. It'll be a relief to have some experienced help."

We walk into the next cottage with a family all laying in bed. I sight I'm all too familiar and one that still haunts me. Dr. Satrinava hands me some glass vials. "Here, please mix one vial of sand and one vial of water and administer it to the patients." I mix the medicine in the ratio prescribed and give it to the mother and father as Dr. Satrinava works on cleaning and washing the sores of the young child using another solution from their bag. "We've had some very promising results from these solutions. You'd be very familiar with them. They are sands and salts gathered from your home Nevivon. We are running low on our supplies of them, though." I look at them. "I don't understand. I thought getting rid of Lucio would get rid of the plague."

"Well, if I had to guess, with the combination of the realms, there's no way to separate him from us so the plague would be free to run rampant as there's no way to truly get rid of Lucio now."

We finish up. As we leave the house, Dr. Satrinava turns to me, wiping their hands down their apron. "Come... Let's walk and talk, Julian. I'll catch you up on everything since you've been gone." We walk down the streets of the village together.

"After that night at the Masquerade when the realms combined, everything became chaos. It was all total blackness, and when we came to our senses, we saw people panicking, screaming, and running everywhere. Portia and Leila were nowhere to be seen. Nadia was chasing The Devil out of the room with Asra close behind. My sisters and I tried to follow them, but suddenly, there were these flashes that stopped us in our tracks. Everything began to warp and bend. Objects would just show up in mid-air and then blink out of existence. The next thing we knew, we were all back in Prakra without any idea how we got here. We tried to get back to Vesuvia to help, but each time we tried to leave Prakra, there would be more flashes, and we'd find ourselves right back where we started. The Devil has trapped us here and won't let us leave. We're all worried about Nadia. She's a strong-willed woman. We must have faith in her and Asra to care for themselves. In the meantime, I'm surprised you haven't been held in place as well. How have you managed to travel through the realms to get to us?" I think about it for a minute. "It must be because I'm traveling with Leila. The deal I made with The Devil preventing him from harming her must also allow us to travel."

"Why did you make that deal?" I hang my head. "Because I'm a worthless failure. Because I never could've been good enough to provide the protection Leila needed. I would do anything and everything to keep her safe." They just shook their head. For as long as I've known you, you've always been a self-sacrificing fool. You keep repeating your mistakes, you never learn from them, and it's never gotten you anywhere. Maybe it's about time something changed. You say you would do everything, but did you? You can't succeed if you don't ever try."

"I don't know if I can succeed I just can't win. This is all my fault.  It's like all I've been able to succeed at doing is being a total abject failure."

"I understand why you did it. I know you've only had good intentions, and you were doing what you thought was best. You did it because you truly care about Leila."

"Leila is my shining treasure. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her."

"I think you two are meant to be together. You've already lost her, and the universe brought her back to you. At any rate, we are done with my rounds for the day. I must be getting back to Palace as well."

As I followed Dr. Satrinava, I considered their words. Maybe I have been judging myself a little too harshly. I did what I thought was best at the time. I love Leila with everything that's in me. I can't bear the thought of her getting hurt, but she's strong and capable; she's a fighter. She'll never stop fighting for what's right, and what's more, she'll never stop fighting for me. When she died all those years ago, she came back to me. She came back for me when I tried pushing her away at the docks. When I tried pushing her away at the end to save her from the Devil, she came back for me. That's one thing where Nazali is wrong. The universe didn't bring her back. She came herself. I may have won her safety from the Devil, but she's still in danger with the combined realms. If I want to keep her safe, I must stay and fight with her. I need to make sure I'm there to protect her. I owe her so much. I can't give up now. I smile as I think of her and absentmindedly brush away a feather that has fallen into my eye.