The Bright Lights

Part Three

3.      Harry, his sister’s flat, London.

‘Come on Harry, you can’t just sit in silence for the rest of the day.’

The boy glowered.

‘Right, fine. I see that’s the way it is. Well I’ve got to go out for the evening. Will you be okay?’

There was no answer.

‘There’s bread in the bread bin, and food in the fridge. Please make sure you eat something okay?’ she frowned at her younger brother, who was sat on the sofa, surrounded by packed boxes, in a grubby t-shirt. He was staring straight ahead at the black TV. ‘Please?’ she bent down and kissed him on the head, ruffling his hair. ‘I’ve got my phone, call me if you need me okay? I won’t be late.’

Harry nodded in reply. His sister hesitated before picking up her handbag, called a cheery goodbye and left the flat, slamming the door behind her. Harry was left quite alone. And he was fine with that. He wanted to be alone – he needed to be alone right now. That was all he had wanted, yet, somehow, now she was gone, he wanted her to come back and chatter to him, and make him something to eat, and just be there. He curled up on the sofa, staring at the packed boxes around him that he had dragged in from his car and dumped unceremoniously.

He had been going to go home, to his parents house, with his tail between his legs, but Kat had rung, just as he was loading up his car and he had spilt out his heart to her. And that was how he had ended up in her small flat in south London. He didn’t mind. He was happier to be there than back in Essex with his parents, who would fuss over him or tell him they had told him so, or that they had never approved of that relationship, or his being gay.

But the truth was, Harry didn’t know. He didn’t know what he was.

He just knew that he wasn’t as truly in love with the other boy as he had been with him. He had got too deep into things already and so the only thing he could do was cut and run. That was what he had done. Surely, he made himself think, it would be better for them both in the long run. For all four of them.

The last couple of days had been a blur. Leaving Cornwall, and driving back to London and then packing up the flat in a surge of energy, which had now left him exhausted. He didn’t know what he had been thinking. He still didn’t know. His thoughts were trying to catch up with events, but it was difficult.

It was all for the best though. It had to be. He couldn’t stay with Dougie just... just because. That wasn’t fair on anyone.

And Tom had already been on at him – it was best he was here, away from it all. Things had to settle down first. And then it was back to work. Harry was already dreading it.

It was pitch black now in the flat, but Harry didn’t stir, didn’t get up to put on a light. He just stared into the darkness, wondering how it took so little time to feel so alone again.