Away From You

Log 1

8/20/19

You left a few days ago and although I try to keep a smile I feel like they can see the pain and sadness in my eyes. It's only been a few days since I've last seen you but knowing that you're hundreds of miles away makes me yearn for you. At times mid conversation I start to wonder what you might be doing and if you're thinking of me as well. 

Yesterday you were busy with moving in and we couldn't have our nightly call because you don't have any internet. I couldn't sleep without the sounds of your breaths on the other side of the line. In the morning you called to make sure I had woken up for my orientation but cut our call short once again to grab some breakfast. 

Today you read my messages and never answered back. You sent me a snap randomly throughout the day to tell me you'd be busy with some friends at a party but after that it was radio silence. I know it's cause you're busy with your new life but a text every once in a while doesn't hurt. It actually reassures me that you remember that I exist. 

Maybe it's because I'm hormonal or depressed but it feels like I thought it would be. It feels like you're forgetting I exist and like you're forgetting your home to enjoy your time more out there. Maybe i'm just being stupid and you'll text me once you're back in your apartment but either way it sucks not knowing what you're thinking and feeling over there. 

I hate questioning whether you really care and wish I could just hear your voice again, even if it's through a phone call. 

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.