Love Will Find A Way

11

When Jake Phillips was in seventh grade, he heard a bang from the downstairs of his house. It was two in the morning on a Sunday night ( Monday morning, actually, his best friend Heidi would have told him with a dorky smile, pushing up her glasses. Jake would have punched her lightly on the arm and laughed). He sat up, looking around his dimly lit up room. He's always had a problem with the dark, never wanting to be alone where he couldn't see his own hand in the air.

He pushes himself off of his mattress and opens the door slowly, trying not to let it creak. He can hear his father yelling, and the faint sounds of someone crying. He looks to his left and sees his younger sister, Jenna, hugging herself around the stomach and looking up at him with wide eyes. He shakes his head, motioning for her to go back into her room. When she's disappeared behind the door, he steps halfway down the steps until he can hear more clearly what his father is saying.

"Are you a fucking idiot ?" Jake flinches back at the loudness of his father's voice.

He strains to hear what comes next, but his mother is speaking so quietly he doesn't hear anything for a few seconds. A loud smacking sound can be heard.

"You will not speak to me like that," his father growls, his voice quieter but loud enough that Jake can still hear him, and fierce enough his mother seems to shut her mouth.

Jake just goes back up to his room and ignores the look Jenna gives him.

This goes on for a month before Jake is simply too confused to not ask.

"Dad?" He approaches his father quietly, not wanting to anger him.

He looks away from the TV, his eyes landing on Jake.

Jake shifts from foot to foot. He doesn't really know how to word it, but he can't find anything. He decides you just ask bluntly: "Why do you hurt Mom?"

His father looks unfazed by the question. He shrugs. "She messes up," he says, looking back at the TV. "Sometimes I have to teach her a lesson."

Jake figures the conversation is over, but there's one more thing he needs to know. "Do you love her?"
The look he gets in return makes something deep in his stomach churn. "Yeah," he says after a pregnant pause. "Of course I love her."

And that, Jake decides as his father trains his eyes back to the television, is a good enough answer.

"Your parents are nice to each other," Jack points out to Heidi after school one day during their freshman year of highschool. They're sitting in her room, Jake on the floor and Heidi on the bed.

Heidi is laying on her back, her head touching the floor and her glasses slipping down her nose. She looks at him with her her eyebrows pulled together. "Yeah," she says. "Yeah, they are."

In their senior year of highschool, Heidi confessed her feelings towards Jake and they started dating. A few months in, he ended up waiting outside of the school for an extra hour while Heidi sat in detention. He doesn't even want to know what she did - all he can focus on is the anger boiling in his stomach.

When he sees her figure stepping down the school steps, he stubs out his cigarette and gets into the front seat of his truck. She gets in with this big, dorky smile, immediately reaching forward to turn up the volume on the radio. Jake clenches his jaw.

Does she not realize how much she's messed up? She made a mistake, and Jake was going to have to teach her a lesson. He knows this; she should know it, too.

"Mr. Cooper was doing detention today," she says, looking out the window. "What an absolute fucking nightmare."

Jake hums. He speeds all the way to his house.

When he pulls up, he's glad to see that the driveway is empty - his parents are out.

"No, but really," Heidi is saying, kicking her shoes off at the door. "It was me and that weird Mike kids - the emo one, you know?" Jake nods. "Okay, well, I was sitting on the opposite side of the room, and I could still hear him complaining under his breath. It was crazy. Also, Mr. Cooper kept like, asking me about my family and all this other random shit." She shakes her head and giggles. "I hate talking to people. Stresses me out, you know?"

She pushes her glasses up her nose and looks at him when he stays quiet. "Jake? You okay?"

Jake turns to look at her and raises his eyebrows. "You made a mistake," he says, Heidi looks amused before something dawns on her.

"This isn't about your parents, is it?" Her voice is soft suddenly, and she reaches out to touch his arm. He tugs it away from her.

"I - I have to teach you a lesson," he says, his voice shaking as he looks at her with wide eyes. "You messed up. "

"Jake," she whispers, her eyes pleading with him. "Please, just... can we talk about this?"

He slaps her across the face, and she takes a few steps back. She looks up at him. Jake's grown a lot since their freshman year,  now standing at 6 foot, muscular from playing on the football team. He towers over her. They're both crying now, Heidi more than Jake, and he grabs her wrist forcefully.

When it's all over, Jake sits next to her on the bed and holds her hand. "I love you," he tells her.

She nods, sighs. "Love you, too," she says softly.

Heidi spends the next year of her life trying to get Jake to go to therapy - each time, he teaches her a lesson. She leaves him eventually, crying and saying she can't do it anymore. Jake doesn't know how to handle himself, so he stays home for a month.

When Jake first sees Eddie, he stares at him for nearly a full hour. He knew he was into guys, he always has been. But this boy behind the counter of the restaurant - he's easily the most beautiful person Jake has ever seen.

He's small, not weirdly small but short enough to be cute. He's skinny, too, making him appear even smaller as he smiles sweetly at the woman seated at the table he's serving. His eyes are wide, a dark brown, and even from here he can see the freckles dusted across his tan cheeks.

Jake knows right away that he has to have him.

The next time he goes there to eat, he makes sure he's sitting in the boy's area.

Eddie isn't nearly as perfect as he looks to be on the outside. He has to teach Eddie many more lessons than he ever had to teach Heidi, but he knows it's worth it every time he has Eddie arching up underneath him in their bed. Or every time he finally gets something to click in Eddie's brain.

He loves Eddie, he really does. Which is why he hates that fucking Tozier boy so much.

Richie Tozier reminds Jake of Heidi in so many ways he can hardly count. Her glasses weren't needed as much as Richie's, but they framed both of their faces in the same way. They both had awful tastes in music, and clothes, and word choices. And they both had fallen in love with their best friend.

Yeah. That's right - Jake sees the way Richie looks at Eddie, and he can recognize it as the same way Heidi looked at him for years. It's so painfully obvious. He's just afraid that maybe Eddie will love him back at some point. It had happened to Jake, so why wouldn't it happen to Eddie as well?

So when Jake got the job offer to work in Texas, he took it without second thought. Eddie would come with him, he didn't have a choice, and they would live together for the rest of their lives. Maybe one day, Eddie would finally have learned all of his lessons and they can live a life where lessons aren't needed.

He loved Eddie, he really did. He wanted to have him all to himself. He wanted a perfect Eddie, in a perfect world, where the two of them could be happily in love.