Far From The Bottom

Chapter 5

At times, it takes true courage to heal, to go out and make a difference, to start afresh. Sometimes it feels like you're being pulled back, when you feel that way, you also pull. Pull and let go of everything that's holding you back. Because you can't always be protected from harmful things, sometimes you need to face the pain, to be stronger. Sometimes that pulling back takes you to places, where you thought you'd never find yourself. And at times it makes you sure of yourself, so that the next time you fall down, you can come right back.

- Nikky:)

Thinking 2 much - Jeremy Zucker

Finally the weekend was here, I could take a breather and relax. I walked slowly and took my laundry to the laundry room, and went back to my room.

I took a quick shower, and changed into some comfortable camo pants, and a V-neck top. I paired it with my converse and a black leather jacket.

I tied my hair in a messy bun letting the loose strands fall on the side, took my bag, phone, keys, and locked my room.

I drove to IHOP, Xavier asked to pick me up, but I didn't want to make anything more weird.

Once I got there, I found him sitting in a booth, looking attractive as usual. I walked there and sat down.

"Hey, you came, I thought you'd stand me up," he said with a nervous smile.

"Um yeah, but I hope you know I don't do this allot, and I'm not planning to start anytime soon," I said with my lips in a thin line.

"That's okay I guess," he said and called a waitress.

The tall brunette who looked about our age, walked to us. She had really pretty blue eyes.

She kept eyeing Xavier. She passed a menu to me harshly. But kept a smile as she gave him one.

"What would you like to order?" She said as she looked at him.

"Marie, what do you want?," He said with a smile.

"I'll have some pancakes, and some juice," I said in one breath.

"You don't look like you eat alot, so thin gosh, and you pretty boy?," She said in a weird tone.

"I'd prefer if you would stop treating my friend like that, I'll have the same, and please get out of my space I need to breathe," he said with an annoyed look.

I quietly chuckled to myself as she took our orders and stomped off.

"You have a really cute laugh, you know," he said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said with a nervous smile. A blush crept on my cheeks, and I felt all giddy inside.

This was weird, I've never felt this way before.

We are our food in silence. But it was a comfortable type of silence.

Everything was going okay until one of his friends I recognized him from school came to out table.

"Xavier, I see you were taking the bet seriously," he said with a laugh.

"What bet?" I asked with a confused look.

"Well Xavier is supposed to make you fall for him, then leave you, and it looks like it's working, nice job my man," he said laughing harder than usual.

Xavier had his head down, and when he looked up, I could see regret in his eyes.

"You were using me? I thought I could trust you, but looks like I was wrong. I mean who could like me, I'm not normal like other girls. Here's the money for my bill. Have a nice life, Xavier." I said as I took twenty dollars from my bag, and dropped it on the table.

I stood up and walked out. I seriously needed to release all this stress and emotions. I felt like I was gonna go crazy. My heart felt heavy as I continued walking to my bike.

This is why I don't let people in. I decided on calling Maddie, my old best friend.

It rang two times before she answered. Even she was showing attitude to me, I could sense it in her voice.

"Look I know you're going through stuff, but I am also, so can you cut me some slack, like your problems are so stupid, my mom's better, my parents are fine, yours are dead, I thought you'd be stronger than that, gosh, I have a new best friend, and boyfriend now, so don't call me again, I'm tired of being tied to you. I'm not planning to come back I'm blocking you, I don't need you anymore, bye Marianna." She finished as coldly as she'd started.

No one except my parents and her knew my full name. I tried to withhold my tears as I drove to the cemetery. They were making everything blurry.

I hurried to her grave. I sat down and started tracing her name.

"Mom, I'm losing everyone. It hurts, I want to be normal, I want to be loved. I want you here with me. I want you and Dad here with me. I just want to be happy. Can I come and be with you? I'm tired. So sick and tired of being used and bruised." I said and kept my head down.

I started making my way out of the cemetery, feeling less sad now that I got that out my chest. Too bad she couldn't hold me, and tell me everything would be alright.

A dog came out of nowhere. He sat down where I was. He was really big.

"Hey there sweetie, are you lost?" I said as I felt his ears.

He barked and licked my face. He made me smile. He put a paw on my hand.

I patted his head. And I started making my way to my bike.

He followed me to my bike. I stopped him, and then continued walking.

As I was starting my bike, he was at my side.

"Little fella, since you don't have an owner, I can keep you I guess," I said with a smile.

He wagged his tail and jumped around. That made me laugh.

I placed him in front of me, I started my bike and drove to my motel.

I figured I'd teach him some commands, and some tricks. He'd be my little buddy.

As I was going up the stairs to my room. I saw Xavier there. He looked at me with pleading eyes, he looked like a mess.

I walked past him with my new dog, opened my room and locked it.

I washed him, and dried him off. It felt good to take care of him. And somehow I felt safe. As I went to sleep, he cuddled next to me. For once in my life since everything happened, I actually felt secure.

My little buddy would be called Blake. Just like my dad. He reminded me of how safe my dad made me feel.

I drifted off to sleep, after everything that happened today, I survived, and I found a hiding place, I found new happiness in Blake.

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cheers, guys, here's a new chapter:)

doing like 2 or 3 more before school next week, hope you enjoyed this one.

Also I noticed that y'all like my quotes. I appreciate that love and support.

Thanks again.

-nikky x