salvation ; 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 , 𝟐

019. light the way

MY HOPE HAD begun to wane. It wasn't the first time, of course, and it wasn't the worst, but it was sure as hell discouraging. We'd been in Queensland for almost ten days now, and there was no sign of Bucky, or Cerberus, or anything in that regard. We were running blind, and unless we found a lead soon, Bucky's fate would no doubt be soon decided for him. 

It was terrifying, but I had no tears left to spill over my cheeks. I had cried too many of them. Now I was just ready. Ready to save my Bucky like he'd saved me. 

As I lay there one night, retreated back into our invisible Wakandan jet, I'd finally found myself resting. No more tossing and turning, like I'd done so many nights before, so often that Cara had begun to ask me to take melatonin. I was finally...still. Peaceful. Bucky rode the waves of my mind, as always, but it was a gentle journey this time. He was not harsh and cruel as he so often was. He was a gentle presence instead of the usual penetrating intruder. 

Unlike my recent daydreams, when I could hardly piece together the features of his face that I thought I'd known so well, I could see a clear picture. I was in my room, the light casting a gentle cadence around the familiar space. I was laying on my back, in the exact position as I was in real life. That only made it so much harder to remember that none of it was real. 

But it was so good. So good. It had been so long since I'd looked upon Bucky's face, seen every line and freckle on his perfect skin. So when I looked above me at the figure hovering over me, his body dividing my legs and wrapping them around his waist, I nearly cried at the sight. 

"Bucky," I breathed out, and I couldn't tell if it was aloud or in the silence of my own head. I hoped it was the latter. "Bucky. You're here."

Above me, his soft lips curled in a gentle smirk. "Did you really think I'd ever leave you?" He caressed my cheek with his fingertips, and I could feel the ghost of the feeling, a feather-light brush of his hand against my skin. 

My eyelids fluttered shut at the sensation, and I let out a shaky sigh. "You're not here," I said. "You're just in my head."

"Yes," he conceded, his long strands of hair falling into his eyes, "but that doesn't mean that I'm not here. That doesn't mean I'm not with you." He leaned in and pressed his lips to the crook of my neck, eliciting a breathy sigh from me. "Come on, doll," he spoke, his voice muffled. "I'm trapped here with you. There's no way I'd leave."

I chose to ignore the fact that this was all in my head, that none of this was real and I didn't have Bucky above me, I didn't have my legs wrapped around his waist, holding him close to me. I refused to remember that it was all an illusion. This was the man I loved, and I'd not seen him for the last several months. Most times when I thought of him, I thought about all the horrible things that might have been happening to him. But now, with this Dream Bucky, I could throw it all to the wayside. I could be happy, if only for a little while. 

My smile was wide as I felt his lips travel from the crook of my neck to my clavicle, planting sweet kisses along my collarbone. He reached the center and lifted his head with a mischievous smirk, dragging his index finger from the dip in my neck to the bottom of my sternum, pulling my shirt down with him. It didn't reveal much skin, but it didn't matter. He leaned down and continued his assault, kissing the tops of my breasts, sometimes giving me a gentle lick. 

I grew impatient and put both hands on either side of his head, lifting him from my chest to pull him back to my lips. I looked at him for just a few seconds, savoring the look of his extra plump, red lips. With a smile, I reached up and closed the distance between them, anticipating the taste of his lips—

"Dude, are you having a wet dream or something?"

And there was Cara, right on time, to drag me back to bleak reality. Once again, interrupting a moment of peace and bliss that I'd been unable to have for several months.