I don't know why I'm writing this , I'm not expecting anyone to read it , not hoping anyone to find it . I'm just in a corner , far from everyone , on vacation , with my family , supposed to have fun , to be happy , and excited but here I am ... sad , alone , lost , empty ... I cried , I cried a lot today , like every day but today was different I was on vacation and mom caught me crying I had to give her explanations , I kind of did , well ... I made her cry , she hugged me , but my words hurt her ... she does her best to make me the happiest person ever .. but oh well , I believe I just wasn't meant to be happy , .. I can't blame anyone .. it's just ME ! It's who I am .. a sad person . I have that weird unexplainable feeling inside of me .. I don't know why but ... you know .. What I'm typing now is completely random and unplanned , it's just what came to my mind , and I'm okay with it , that's what I always do , because I believe that whatever comes out of your month first without even thinking is what you really think , it's who you are , it's what you feel IT'S WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY ! I want to stop writing but I can't !i have nothing else to do ( well I do but .. you know I don't want to do anything but writing this right now ) I want peace , I want love , I want joy , I want freedom , I want to be someone !! I want to HAVE someone !! I want to restart my life, I want ... I sincerely don't know what I want .. nothing seems to help me overcome the sadness I feel . Thoughts coming through my mind that I can't put into words .. is that normal ? Oh lol I wrote 305 words already , but haven't said a single useful or exciting sentence .. well , excuse me , it's who I am .. so if you stick around , don't expect much , I'll just share my ups and downs here I guess .. maybe more if I get happier , more stable , more mature , but can't promise anything !! I think we'll both find it . But I can promise you one thing , I won't be fake EVER here .. I'll only share my true feelings and be the real me ! Because first , I'm tired of faking my happiness , and second why would I ? And third , I have to be real to someone (you) or something (my phone ) for once , before I loose my mind . Voilà ! 420 worlds lol ! Enjoy ! See you later ❤️
