Back |Harry Styles|

FOUR

"Hello?" I talk into my phone while getting up from the comfortable spot on the couch. "Hey! Where the hell are you?" I can hear the hangover on Olivia's voice. I walk a bit away from the couch and Harry, although I'm not sure why. It's not like he suddenly can't hear me just because I walked a few feet away.

"I'm with Harry, but you shouldn't be surprised since you're the one who gave him my number!" I scold her. I can hear Harry's light chuckle. "Oh please! You should be thanking me!" Olivia scoffs at my anger. I sort of hunch over, as if hiding myself from Harry so he doesn't hear me whisper-yell at Liv "Thank you? Why the hell would I thank you for giving him my number?". I hear Olivia take a deep breathe "You know what? I'm way too hungover to be fighting over the phone with you, so we'll talk when you get home." she says and then ends the call.

I sigh, trying to suppress my frustration. I turn around to face Harry and put my phone in my bag. He's still sitting on the couch, so I sit down as well. He has the biggest grin plastered on his face, it makes me smile.

"What?" I try not to show the way his smile makes me feel. "Nothing." He acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "C'mon," I playfully kick his leg "What is it?". He starts rubbing his leg and puts on a shocked face "Ouch!" He fake-pouts at me and I can't stop myself from giggling. "Oh shut up!" I mock him. "You're mean." He keeps the put as long as he can but then bursts into laughter. "So?" I slowly stop my giggles. "It's nothing, I'm just happy to see you again.". And there it is, the perfect thing to kill the mood.

He doesn't seem to get why the expression on my face suddenly change, so I decided to move on and change the subject.

"I listened to your album." I say enthusiastically. He shoots a sharp look at me, "Really?" a big smile appears on his face. "Yeah... last night, when I got home from the bar." I smile shyly, looking down at my fidgeting hands. "Well?" He queries, "How'd you like it?". I turn my face up at him, "I really liked it!". He chuckles "Good, that's really good."

"What did you like about it? What's your favorite song? Was there anything you didn't like? Wa-" His interrogation was cut off. "Harry, chill." I giggle about how nervous he suddenly has become. "Yeah, sorry." He takes a breath, "It's just, it's my first album. You know- solo.". I give him an understanding smile, "Yeah, of course. I understand why you're nervous, but you shouldn't be, especially not around me."

"Well, just so you know, your opinion acctually means a lot." He offers me a genuine smile. I'm not sure how to respond to that, so I just ignore it. "Right, umm..." I stumble over my words a bit but quickly find my footing, "I liked that the album was very you.". He laughs, "Yeah, I'd hope so, I am the one who wrote it." Harry teases me. "Oh, shut up! you know what I mean." I defend my inability to form my feelings into logical sentences.

"It really surprised me genre-wise," I reveal "some songs were very rock, but then there was a folky sound, so I was definitely caught off guard." I explained. "In a good way, I hope." He smiled although I definitely saw a glimmer of nervousness in his eyes. "Yes, of course in  a good way." I said, reassuring him. 

"I don't think I can pick a favorite song. It really depends on my mood." I say. Harry doesn't say anything, he seems to be waiting for me to continue. "I guess if I had to choose, I'd say my favorites are...uhh..." I try to remember the names of the songs, "'Sweet Creature' is a really beautiful song. And 'Kiwi' is super fun but I'm kinda confused about it." I laugh a bit. "Don't worry," He chuckles with me, "I didn't get anyone pregnant.". I laugh even harder now, "Good, good."

"What about 'Ever since New York' and 'From The Dining Table'?" Curiosity and anxiety fill his eyes, "What did you think about those?". Ahh yes, the topic I feared most. While listening to those song's the thought did cross my mind- 'Were they written about me?'. I sigh deeply before facing my fears. "They were inspired by me, weren't they?" I feel my body heating up from the tense situation. He smiles at me, "Yes. They were written about you.". As soon as he said that, it felt like a huge amount of weight was lifted off of both of our shoulders.

It felt like we sat in silence for hours, just staring in each other's eyes. Obviously in actuality, it was like ten seconds, but still, it was far too long.

"Okay." I didn't know what to say, I should be flattered but I'm not. I'm more- sorry for the way he felt about our thing. The songs felt sad to me, so is that how he feels about the whole thing? But also the way he sans about it, it felt sad, but also like he was romanticizing the whole thing. So to put my feelings in a single word- I was confused.

"Okay?" He playfully scoffs, "That's all you're going to say?" Harry asks. "What more do you want me to say?" I ask, confused. His mouth opens as if he's trying to say something but can't. "I- I don't know. Something? Something more than 'okay'." The tone of his voice makes me think he's offended, but not in an angry way.

"I don't have anything to say. It's not like it will change anything." I answer not sure myself what I mean by my words. "Change anything?" He now seems to be as confused as me, "What would you want to change? Did you not like the songs?" he questions, anxiety returns to his voice.

"No, of course, I liked the songs." I smile at Harry, trying to be reassuring, "It's just... I- I'm sorry, I guess." I look up at him, to see how he reacted. "For what?" His nose scrunches up a bit. "For making you feel that way." I explain, "Those are sad songs Harry, I'm sorry for making you sad."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too." Harry says simply.

Hearing him say that broke me a bit. I never thought about he felt after we 'broke-up'. I mean I did but now hearing him say that it doesn't feel good. "I think I should go." I quickly get up from the couch. He got up right after me. "No, wait Dais-". I look at him and smile, "It's okay, really, I have to go anyway.". He tries to persuade me to stay but I don't budge. As I'm opening the door to leave he says he'll call me, and by the tone in his voice- I'm sure he will.