We Are Alright

III

US

Inside a room made dark by heavy draperies, New held Tay's hands firmly in his.

"While there will never be any justifiable reason for the way those people harassed me, I cannot hate them," New said as he held Tay's hand tighter when he felt the other was about to disagree.

"Back then, I disliked how people tried to force their own delusions and beliefs on me. It felt frustrating," he sighed.

"But whenever I saw their happiness, my resentment would melt away. The fact that I was able to give them joy felt fulfilling-"

"But in the end, they could not love everything about you. They refused to acknowledge who you truly were because their perception of who you should be was already set" Tay interrupted.

"Tay, I could not hate them. I hated my situation but I could never hate the fans. There were times when I felt frustrated, angry, and let down but I could never hate the fans who loved a flawed person like me. I fucked up a lot and yet each time there were people who stayed behind me" New smiled sadly.

"But in the end it may have been too much. The hatred I was receiving on a daily basis felt suffocating. It felt like the world was sucking the happiness out of me. I wanted to make the people around me happy but how could I give them something I no longer had"

"Tay, leaving the entertainment industry was not an act of betrayal. I know that I disappointed a lot of people because of that decision and I will forever feel apologetic towards everyone who felt sad or was inconvenienced because of it. I even made you sad," New caressed Tay's cheek. "But I had to leave to save myself"

Tay leaned in into New's warm touch, "New, I understand everything now that's why I find it difficult to move on. I hurt for you. I'm sorry that I failed you. I'm sorry that I thought so little of what you were going through then. I'm sorry that I chose not to be there when you were having problems. I'm sorry that even on your last day at the company, I was still too stubborn and too prideful to-"

New placed a finger on Tay's lips to hush him "We have both hurt each other a lot back then. I hated your absence and for a period of time I actually thought that I could live without you," New chuckled softly. "You don't know how happy I felt when you came crawling back to me"

"I didn't crawl," Tay denied. "I ran. I ran back to you as fast as I could when I realized how stupid I was to let you deal with everything on your own. I was so afraid that I was too late"

His frustration started to swell up again as he remembered his indifference to New's situation back then. He ignored the younger one's bouts of depression until it got worse to the point that it prompted the latter's family to ask for the termination of his contract with their company as he sought for professional help.

New nodded, "The entertainment industry molded me and broke me but regardless of everything that transpired, I will always look back at those times with fondness. That's where I met you and so many of the friends I still have today"

"Have I ever told you the story about the letter I got from a fan after I left Bangkok?" New asked peering at the sullen Tay who shook his head negatively.

"I think it was two weeks after I moved back with my family that a letter somehow got through my parents' strict security. For some time, my family decided that it was best to keep me away from anything related to the entertainment industry. They were so afraid of my condition that they supervised everything," New related.

"On that day, someone must have carelessly left the stack of letters on the table so I took one. I was just curious if everyone still hated me," New shrugged.

"The contents of the letter was pretty much the same as every other fan letter I have received in the past. However, during that time when I felt like I was drowning in darkness, the words she wrote felt like a lifesaver," he paused to compose himself from the sudden rush of emotions.

"'New, you have done well' read those words"

"Every time I committed a mistake or I acted in a way that others did not approve of, I got cursed out. Every achievement that I have made, every good thing that I have done were forgotten. I was not asking that I be forgiven simply because I did some things right but to have reduced me to an utterly bad person, that hurt like hell. I wasn't a bad person Tay but they made me feel like I was"

New's tears finally broke free, carrying with it the last remaining bitterness he had from the events that ferried him to an overwhelming sadness many years ago.

Tay enclosed the man in a tight embrace while whispering words of comfort. "You are a good person New. You have done more than enough. You love too much even if it hurts. I wish someone was able to tell you these before you got hurt"

He wiped the tears off of New's flushed cheeks and kissed him soothingly.

"Tay, I'm tired of hiding. I really want to live in a house with bare windows"

THEM

Once again, an update on Tay's instagram account was made. The photo was of a bunch of letters and gifts and it came with a simple caption that read, "Thank you🐱".

Hani pointed to the screen of her phone and looked inquiringly at Paula, "This looked like the gift you gave to New?"

Front and center of the photo posted on Tay's account was a familiar photobook that Paula has painstakingly made for New several years ago.

Sunny scoffed, "Oh, the irony"

"At least they both ended up being happy", Paula said in a small voice.

Sunny placed her coffee on the table and looked outside the window in melancholy, "It's just a  pity. We could have spent those precious times creating happy memories instead of inflicting wounds that may haunt others for the rest of their lives"