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He was just there, and able to pull me towards him without effort. That's how great he is.
I am here, watching him from far, and prayed to whichever god that is listening to always make him happy.
It was a simple wish, but for me it means greatly. He is the moon in the dark, sun to my galaxy, he is everything.
I heard a thump in my chest when he is there, from far. For the first time I heard that. At the same time, I realized I am in love.
We were a stranger, but I knew him more than a stranger would. He found out later but didn't freak out. That day was awkward but I loved it. It was our start.
Each start, each beginning is a blessing. It was nice; just like spring with loads of sunlight. Slowly, we're blooming but it was nice while it lasted. Every beginning meant to have an end. Perhaps, this is our end.
Our happiness masked that the fact he has a bigger dream before me. We forgot that. He is a singer before I came to him.
I wanted to be greedy for once. I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to pray to god to make us stay forever. However, I can't. All this while, he let me know, without himself knowing that he taught me to be selfless, to be greater me.
So I let him choose his dream before me. I'm proud of myself for making that decision even though he hated it. He hated me for it. But I don't mind. Because it's for him.
"Please. At least give me a reason. You can't just leave me like that.", he begged. His voice stuck in his throat and I knew. He was sincere but I knew better.
"Just because." My voice was cold.
I wish I could hold him again.
"I know this ain't you."
"This is me, Taehyung. You don't know me."
"Stop giving me bullshit. You know I believe anything you'd say. Don't do this to me. Please."
Shit. Taehyung always know what to say. In the end, I can't reply to him anymore. Silence and the heavy atmosphere was killing me slowly.
"Talk to me, baby." His voice was shaking, like he was holding back his chokes.
"I don't deserve you. You'll need someone better."
"I don't need someone better. I need you."
I can only sigh in defeat. Last resort.
"I don't need you. I was looking for someone better and you ain't it. Sorry."
"No. Don't be sorry. I understand."
His thumb wiped across your cheek. I was crying. I didn't notice that I was crying. I had to say that, to make him believe.
"I'll get my stuff tomorrow. Good night baby. I love you."
He grabbed his coat and kissed my forehead before leaving. Right after the door close, my knees fall weak and I was crying so hard after holding back for god knows how long.
