New girl

Chapter One

                    Joana's pov       

I lay in bed over thinking stuff in my head it's not been a easy life for me with my mental health and living with borderline personality disorder. I can't even hold down a proper relationship because of it no one can handle or understand me. I know i can be tough sometimes but it's not like I can help it right i mean if I could be different and stuff I would love to be I would do anything to change It.I get angry outburst and sometimes this can lead to me taking drugs I know taking drugs isn't the answer however when I get stressed it's just my way of dealing with things. I get out of bed making myself some breakfast with my mun Jane in the kitchen we have a very complex relationship.

"Hey joana are you okay this morning you were so loud last night did you calm down after last night?"

"Mum I don't want to talk about it at all you said some hurtful things which I'll never forget"

"Oh please joana let's just talk about it please"

"No i don't want to I said just leave me alone"
I shout then immediately regret it

I walk to school feeling so stressed out why do i speak to people the way i do I hate myself sometimes. As I get into class I see a blonde girl sat in class my eyes immediately light up and I go shy for unknown reason. I sit at the back of the class really wanting to sit next to her. After ten minutes of making a decision I get up and go over to her reluctantly.

"Hey excuse me is anyone sitting here
?"

"No one is sitting here you can sit here if you want to"
Cris says with a smile on her face

I sit down just staring at her bitting my lip while smiling at her feeling shy not knowing what to say to her.

"So are you new here?? I've never seen you around here before May I ask?"

"Yes my name is Cris I'm new here just joined today actually"

I just stare at her getting lost into her blue eyes I mean i know i fancied girls before but wow this felt completely different

"Aww okay well if you need me to show you around or anything I'm here for you if you need anything"
I state with a smile

"Aww thank you will you be my studying buddy for this class I mean you can say no it's okay"
Cris says with a smile

"I would love to be your studying partner although you will probably have to be strict with me at times as I can be naughty"
I say with a giggle

"Ohhh what do u mean by naughty joana?"
Cris says laughing

I was about to say something totally out of character then but thought no behave  "well I meant like I find it hard to stay focused so you might have to put me into shape" .

Cris just giggles and continues with her work i honestly can't stop looking at her she's the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen.

The bell goes off for end of end of school I really want to invite cris round to mine however I'm so nervous to ask her..

"Hey have you seen this movie called blue is the warmest colour?"
I ask cris smiling at her..

"I can't say I have why joana?"

"Well..... I pause do you fancy coming round mine to watch something,?"

"Yeah sure sounds like a good idea here look cris my number I'll see you later i guess don't forget to text me the address"
Cris smiles as she walk away from me

I walk home with my earphones over my ears blasting out music not really wanting to face up to my mum luckily she will be at work. I get home going straight to my room manically tidying up and hiding some stuff I don't want cris seeing I look down at my phone from getting the paper out from my pocket which had cris nunber in.

"Hey hope your okay? my address is 76 Alex avenue see you soon :) xxx

I put my phone on lock screen feeling nervous starting to draw to take my mind of it will cris like me back the way I like her i mean knowing my luck she is probably straight I tend to fall for straight girls which is so annoying.

Hey I hope you liked my first chapter of my story :)