Lean on Me

Chapter Three

Uncle Mark and I put the last of my boxes into the trunk of their silver Honda Odyssey. He makes it seem like my boxes of clothes are incredibly heavy, grunting loudly and straining his face like the boxes weigh fifty pounds. "Jeez Darcy, did you pack bricks or something?" he asks jokingly, making me release a short laugh.

Hannah and Grace come running out the front door, tears brimming in their eyes. "Can we please come with you? Please?" Hannah cries, wrapping her arms around my waist as tight as her eight-year-old body can allow her.

"It's not fair! We want to come, too!" Grace wails, also wrapping her arms around me, tighter and taller than her younger sister.

"I know you girls want to go help Darcy move in, but there's just not enough room for all of us to go. I'm sorry, but you're going to need to say your goodbyes now," Uncle Mark calmly explains to them, but I can hear the sadness in his voice also. I can't tell if he's sad for his daughters for having to say goodbye to their pseudo big sister, or if he's sad that I'm leaving and he has to say goodbye to his pseudo daughter. Either way, I can feel the tears forming in my eyes, because I have to say goodbye to all three of them right now, on this perfect suburban front lawn.

I get down on my knees and look Hannah in the eyes. She's full-on crying now, and I take a deep breath so I don't completely break down in front of her.

"I'm going to miss you, Bug," I tell her. I refuse to let her see me cry, no matter how badly I want to. The nickname I've called her for her whole life makes her crack a small smile, but she won't meet my eyes. I know that will only make her cry harder, so I don't force her to show me her beautiful green eyes. But she still sniffles aggressively as the tears and snot continue to fall down her face. She hugs me again, and I turn to Grace.

I have been with Grace since she was a baby. I remember when the social worker dropped me off here to live here permanently, and Grace just gave me a huge toddler smile. It's strange, but once I saw her pure and raw happiness and innocence, I knew things were going to be okay. Being away from her is going to be so hard, like I'm leaving a piece of my heart behind in this house. My heart physically aches as I take her small hands in mine. She's also sniffing violently like her sister, but she at least looks me in the eyes.

"You know I love you to the moon and back, right Banana?" I remind her. I feel like I'm betraying in her in some way by leaving, but I know it's what I have to do.

"I know," she whimpers. Her sobs are almost becoming uncontrollable. I see her chest rising and falling quickly, and I want to make sure she doesn't go into a full-blown panic attack. I wrap my arms around her tightly, and whisper to her, "Call or text me whenever you want. I will always be here for you. Plus, I'll even let you borrow the makeup I'm leaving here." I pull back from our hug to look back into her big blue eyes. Her breathing is slowing, regaining its normal rhythm. "Really?" She asks weakly. I know offering her something like this will make her feel better, but I add "Make sure you share with Hannah, though. We don't want to make her sad by leaving her out." Grace nods, and gives me one last hug before I stand up.

Next, I step in front of Uncle Mark. He is full-on sobbing, setting aside any societal expectations about men crying in front of other people. Jeez, I can see where his daughters get it from.

"Thank you for everything," I choke out. I was able to hold it together for Grace and Hannah, but for some reason looking into Uncle Mark's red-rimmed eyes sets my emotions over the edge.I owe Uncle Mark so much. He didn't have to agree to take me in. He didn't have to take in his wife's sister's child when they were just getting started with their own family. He could have said no, but he didn't, and I am so grateful.

"Oh, honey," he sobs, and pulls he in for the tightest hug I've ever received in my life. He has been like my father the past nine years, and sometimes I even forget that he's not really my dad. He was there for all my silly school recitals, when Aunt Pam made me play softball for one summer, he was at every single game cheering me on, no matter how terrible I was. He cheered until he lost his voice when I graduated high school, and beamed with pride when I got accepted to Clark. I am going to miss this man terribly.