No Escape

6 - you make me weak

"BEEEEAAAAAMM!"

Forth had been screaming while searching every room in the house. He had woken up alone on the couch and Beam was not in sight.

His heart pounded as he frantically climb the roof top of his three storey house, the last place that he hasn't looked for Beam.

His mind was blank before it was invaded by panic and anxiousness.

Beam was standing on the ledge, holding on to the railing, preparing to jump.

"BEEEAAAM!" Forth screamed, he can feel his heart lodged in his throat.

"Love.. Beam.. Climb over the rail. Please.." Forth walked towards Beam.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME FORTH!" Beam shouted at Forth with a threat that he will jump should he walk towards him.

"Okay.. Okay.. I'm gonna stay here. See?" Forth raised both his arms in defeat and fear.

"Climb over back and we'll talk about this. Okay?" He tries to convince Beam.

"Now you want to talk? Where was this 'talk' yesterday Forth? Or the day before?" Beam responded with anger and sarcasm.

"I know I messed up but let's talk this out. Just climb over here.. Please.. Beam.." Forth pleaded with desperation.

How can Beam trust him? How would he know that Forth will keep his word?

"The passcode. What's the passcode of the front door?" Beam needed assurance.

"Beam come on just-"

"I NEED THE PASSCODE OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO JUMP FORTH."

Forth fell silent. He shook his head and stared at the ground.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Beam should have felt something for him by now but Forth couldn't blame him. He did things that wasn't part of his plan. He got too carried away by his emotion the second he came near Beam. Why wouldn't he? He kept all of it for years and now it had bursted and firedback right in front of him. If Beam gets hurt Forth will never forgive himself.

"06-22-19" Forth answered looking directly into his eyes.

It took a while before Beam realized the passcode was a date It was a date of the day when Forth had invited him to drink at his friend's house where they both spend the night away together. It was when everything changed for the both of them.

Now he was left with questions and confusion.

Beam slowly climbed over the railing. He stood a few meters away from Forth.

"Let me go home Forth." He said. It wasn't a question for Forth, it was a command.

"No. No." Forth moved slowly towards Beam.

"I can't let you go. Not now."

Is this the end? Forth asked himself, he can feel defeat slowly sinking on him. Beam must have hated him now, ever more so than before.

"Beam don't leave me. I can't let you go. I can't."

Beam gulped and balled his fist. His eyes glimmer with tears that was slowly rising.

"I wasn't really asking Forth. I need to go home."

Forth shakes his head in refusal. He can feel his strenght had withered away with how Beam was looking at him.

He stood inches away from Beam.

"Beam.. I need you back. I'm begging you. I need you back." Forth slowly bended both his knee until it touched the concrete floor.

"Beam.. We can start over. I promise I'll do better this time. Beam.. Please.." Forth's voice was shaking.

His arms wrapped tightly on Beam's legs and his head bowed down as his tears fell on Beam's bare feet. Beam can feel the teardrops trickle down.

This was the last thing Beam was expecting. Forth had always been proud and never begged for anything to anyone.

Beam can feel his heart being crushed and pulled apart in different directions. He can't back down now.

"I need to go Forth." He managed to say without stuttering.

But Beam couldn't move his legs, not because of Forth. Even without Forth holding him down in his place it wouldn't make any difference.

Forth had slowly looked up at him.

"C-can I take you h-home then?" There were tears rushing down from his eyes down to his cheeks.

It took Beam every single fiber of his being to not wipe it and kiss it away. He wanted to. Heaven knows how much he wanted to.

He looked down at Forth.

"I.. I don't think that's a good idea." Beam had wanted to shut his mouth and just agree. But he knew this was the right thing to do.

It was painful for him but he had to end it now before he goes back to how he feels three years ago.

Forth nodded, his chest getting heavier by the minute.

"W-what about if I v-visit you tomorrow? That's okay r-right Beam?" He begs.

Beam slowly shakes his head as a response.

Forth felt like he had just been shot right where his heart was. His arms fell at his sides and Beam walked towards the door.

Beam touched the door and remembered something. Something he didn't got a chance to say that night three years ago.

Forth remained kneeling where Beam had left him. Still lost with the whirlwind of emotions.

"Forth.." Beam called out almost whispering.

With tears in his eyes, Forth turned around to face Beam who was wearing the saddest smile he had ever seen.

"Goodbye.."

END OF BOOK 1