school's ending in three months, this whole year has just been so stressful. but it's funny, things got even more stressful ever since i fell in love with chan. i keep telling myself that there's no point in continuing to have feelings for him, school's about to end and we're about to graduate. why can't i just worry about college? he's always on my mind and i don't know if i like it or hate it to be honest. i told myself that after we graduate, i'll never have to see chan again. but that belief is somehow changing.
today at lunch, i sat alone in the cafeteria. seungmin and jeongin have been sitting with other kids, it's almost been three weeks since they last sat with me. i stare at them talking and laughing with other people, they look happier.
"hey woojin!" i turned around slowly, literally no one knows me. why would anybody be trying to talk to me right now? when i completely turned around i saw lee felix smiling at me. "h-hi.." i whispered back softly, this was so weird.. "could you help me with math homework? chan told me that you're really smart." felix said, showing me the assignment he needed help on. as i was scanning through the paper, i could feel my cheeks flush as i thought about chan saying that i'm smart.
i tried raising my voice a little bit more so he could hear me explain to him about the assignment, once i was done felix hugged me and smiled widely. "thank you woojin!" he cheered. i smiled too. "your smile is so cute woojin, why don't you do it more?" another voice said and chuckled. i looked up and felt my heart beat increase its speed incredibly. it was chan who said that, my face was burning up and i completely lost myself in that moment. i quickly tried to respond back.
"oh i.. um, i- i don't k-know, my smile is really ugly.." i chuckled awkwardly, i bit down on my lips and i could feel my stomach twist and turn. "what?! you're crazy woojin, your smile is so cute." chan said happy as ever. you're crazy chan, for even talking to me really.
felix ended the awkward silence, "oh woojin! we were wondering if you wanted to come to this party today after school." he said excitingly. hearing the word "party" terrified me. being alone in a space with too many people at once would kill me instantly."party? i don't know.. i'm not really that kind of person.." i mumbled under my breath shyly. "oh come on! there won't be too many people. it's just gonna be me, chan, minho, jisung, changbin, seungmin, hyunjin, and jeongin." felix said reasurringly. seungmin and jeongin? i didn't expect them to agree on going, they're also not party people. "it would be really nice if you could come." chan smiled at me. i felt my cheeks getting warmer, "um okay.. sure i'll go." i said quietly. "great! i'll dm you the information on instagram." felix replied. i smiled and nodded, what did i just get myself into?
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he ☹ woochan
Fanfictionil est le seul pour moi // woojin's pov, warning: angsty, mentions of drug abuse, physical abuse, death, etc.