Another empty bottle

Not so happy start ~1~

"look at me go mommy, I'm doing it!" I yell

"I'm so proud of you Lilly!" Mom said

This was one of the very few happy memories I have left. When I first learned how to ride a bike. I know it's kind of stupid but it's just one of those weird but happy memories I have as a small child. I was pretty happy as a child and half way into my pre-teen years. But happiness didn't last forever with me. I'm now 16, and life is the worst it's ever been. I always put on a fake smile no matter how sad and depressed I am. I basically have made up a fictional human that I play. what I mean by that is that I'm fake and a liar. I'm worthless as well of a waste of space and everyone around me makes sure I know it. Anyway I guess I might as well just get into the story.

April 7 2003

"look at her honey she so beautiful!" Mother says "Yes she is beautiful." Father agrees

This was the day I was born. I guess you really don't remember much from these years but I guess I needed the moment I was born in this story but whatever.

November 24 2008

My dad starts chugging down his third bottle of beer that night. "honey can you not drink anymore tonight?" "I'm worried you have been drinking very heavily lately, If you need to talk about something I'm here." Mother says. She gives my dad a weak smile and looks at him for a response. Father stares at her for a moment and gives her a scowl and yells " Ah shut up! You don't tell me what to do you old hag!" then throws one of the empty beer bottles on the table at Mothers head. While all this is happening I was coloring at my small wooden desk my mother made for me. The beer bottle hits my mother head and shatters into hundreds of small pieces. I jump up to help. I run over to my mother, her head is bleeding and she's on her hands and knees on the floor. I remember being traumatized as I was only 5 at this time. I start to cry worried for my mother's health. Speaking of "worried for health" I was worried for my dad's too. Even though I didn't know how serious drinking was at the time I still knew something was wrong. I knew that the drink made dad like this. 

The next day

I had poured all my dads beer out because I didn't know if the drink made dad like this or if dad really does hate mom. "Where's my beer?" Dad screams "I poured it out daddy. "I said. My dad looks at me in pure anger. "You did what you brat?!" Dad roars. Before I even had a chance to respond my dad kicks me with his might knocking the breath out of me. I start to cry "Ah shut it you pest!" My dad shouts. Mother was out grocery shopping so she was not here. A few minutes of my dad beating me my mother walks in with bags of groceries bags in her hangs. As she sees my dad she drops her bags in sock. "Stop that!" Mother screams. "She poured out my beer the brat!" Dad yells "That's no reason to beat your own daughter you bastard!" Mother yells back. They go back and forth yelling at each other as I lay lifeless on the floor slowly rising. They fought more and more often but I was used to it.

That was one of the many bad memories i have. Mother started drinking and all my mom and dad did was argue. One day mom left but I didn't care all she did was yell at me.

Present day 

I walk back home from school and enter my house. I walk to my room and fall on my bed. I take my hoodie off revealing all of the cuts on my wrist. I smile at them. "I deserve every bit of this pain." I say to myself. I lie back down and turn my head to my desk to see a bottle full of pills. "they will come in handy one day....but not now" I think to myself. I put my hoodie back on and head to my living room.