One Last Kiss

Chapter 1

"I don't want to keep disappointing you anymore, I don't think I can move forward with this relationship" Cristiano whispered.

I could not believe the words that came out of his mouth, my heart sank, I felt like he was literally opening my chest and ripping my heart out.

"No, please no Cristiano, no please" I begged, I cupped my hands over his cheeks with eyes full of tears. His eyes were dead, no feeling there anymore, I've never seen his face more dull. Some part of me felt like I could still salvage the relationship, with enough begging and crying I could make him reconsider.

"Please get out of the car, I am suffocating," I managed to choke out.

We walked to the side of his car, he did not even want to look at me. His body was still and hard like stone, no warmth there.

"You can't do this, please I am happy with you, I don't want to loose you," I begged.

"Thats not what you said ten minutes ago," He shrugged. On the way home I had argued with him about how unhappy I was because he was still hooked on two girls who had friendzoned him. For an instant, I had regretted everything I told him, I did not think he would break up with me, I thought I was being honest because I kept all those feeling bottled up for months.

Last time we had argued, he decided to punish me for making him upset, and I did not want that to happen again.

After what seemed an hour of talking outside, we went back in the car and I was grabbing my things from his car.

"Please, one more date and if we feel nothing we can end it, just please let me have some closure, we can't leave things like this," I kept begging practically words unable to come out of my mouth by the hard lump stuck on my throat. I knew this would be the last time I would see him.

He idled in silence, looked out, could not even look at me.

"Is that your answer?" I asked him, not wanting to hear the real answer.

He shook his head, and I did not want to come out of the car, I knew this would be the last time I got to see him, I knew it was long over and there was no turning back, I was exhausted and destroyed.

Before he had placed is car in reverse to exit my driveway I got so furious.

"You complain all the time about being friend zoned but the minute that you had someone that loved and cared about you, you did this?!?! You are selfish! You destroyed me! I came out of that house this morning excited to see you and then you did to me?!?!?" I screamed, I wish I had the guts to cuss him out.

He didn't look at me, he looked ahead as if he did not feel anything.. As if he didn't care. And just like that I saw him and his car for the last time in person drive off.

I went inside the house and I was still in shock, I approached my family and I broke down, I was so heartbroken, I did not want to feel that way anymore. I walked upstairs and called my friend and I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

They say that when you go through a traumatic experience, you dream it later on and yes. My dream was about him. 

The next day I jolted to work, I needed something familiar and I needed to be away from home so the pain won't be so excruciating. I worked the following day and needless to say I would take 10 minutes day frequently to sob in the bathroom.

When I got home, I watched some videos that helped me cope with the breakup. I decided to make my own plan.

I let two weeks of me just feeling the pain, the breakup, the knowing he was no longer in my life- it was very long but very very necessary. 

After, I spent time with my family, getting back to a routine with them, lastly getting out there with my friends. That was the time I got a taste of dating again.