Distant Connections

Introduction 2

One could ask when my life got so terribly shit that it came to attention that I'm utterly in depressingly miserable. I wouldn't call it depression as such but there's been days when I felt like that I wanted to just leave my life but, I have my good days and no doctors have ever diagnosed me with it because I don't believe I show enough signs for depression I'm guessing. Anyway my life was basically shit from the day I was born literally my mother pooped as she gave birth to me which is apparently very common so laugh all you want. Also my father didn't even turn up for my birth because he didn't believe that my mother is was in labour so that's great.

I can't remember my first, second, third, fourth of fifth birthday but I remember my sixth I had my tonsils out on my birthday, I remembered getting this Angelina the ballerina teddy with a cute little pink ballerina dress. I remember the square plaster thing on my arm which was to help me keep dehydrated I think. I remember colouring this picture terribly I was six keep that in mind I never used to colour in the lines, but I remember falling asleep and not remembering it. I got offered ice-cream after my operation and I hand to reject it because my throat hurt so much and I feel sad nearly 12 years later about it.

My seventh birthday was okay I got this cool s club 7 dance mat and I remember wearing this cute purple dress and dancing like the early 2000s. I must of been seven in about 2004 so you can imagine the terrible fashion has to live with. I don't think I had cake and if I did it might of been chocolate cake, I don't often remember the cakes I had.

My eighth was something I can't remember I don't think anything noticeable happened. I think I moved into my third house by this point and I saw my mother at some point as my parents divorced when I was about three I didn't exactly spend birthdays with both parents and I can't remember a time as a child that I did ever celebrate birthdays with them.

I remember my ninth that was phone me, my younger sister by three years, my mother and my step mum all whet bowling I think I came third which is always better than last

Which is where younger sister was placed, I laughed at her loss and I know she got super pissed off she hates to loose.

My tenth was pretty bland I went to school and I'm pretty sure it was Pancake Tuesday that day. I got a couple of presents but, I remember getting this huge w.i.t.c.h which is this fandom I used to be obsessed with me and my childhood friends always used to Cosplay it I played Irma the one with how the power of water. I used to do that drink of running the water down your hands and it come of my finger tips and pretend I had real life magic powers, I lived the dream guys.

My eleventh I can't remember that at all I think I went bowling again and it was either on a weekend or holiday that's usually when it falls.

My twelfth was one I spent with my secondary friends we went to the cinema to see Hotel for dogs and I kind of cried. I then later on had a birthday party were I invited more close friends. I was twelve so there was no alcohol if that's what your thinking I'm not that screwed up like the rest of our generation.

My thirteenth I had a cool sleepover with my friends but I went shopping before hand and bought a pair of kitten heels that I never used to be able to walk in but now I'm more able, I had a cool birthday cake I remember this cake because it was especially made for me and not some bought cake at Asda. Sue made this cake to look like a jewellery box with sweet necklaces and bracelets it looked to awesome to eat.

On my fourteenth I decided to go ice skating for the second time in my life , with two close friends at the time now we don't even share a responsive conversation on facebook. The ice skating trip was funny because of how much a cultz I was now don't get me wrong I can skate I'm just clumsy. I accidentally knocked my friend over by pulling on her cardigan while I was falling and then pushing a random by  stander over. I never laughed so much.

It pretty much started to go down rail from here. My fifteen wasn't much of a bad birthday my parents got me a bought cake this year and I actually spent it with a friend and on my birthday but  I didn’t realise it was going to be well my last celebrated birthday that I care for really.

What comes after fifteen you guessed sixteen? Well that birthday fucking sucked balls. I had to spend half of my birthday stuck in a room doing a stupid exam and then I got home to nothing no big celebration, no cake, no friends around my parents hadn’t bought me anything at all. I mean I didn’t even open any presents no waking me up at six am just to say happy birthday, I had to ask for my cards because my parents ‘forget’. 

My seventeenth was also pretty sucky too, I spent it in my room alone. My best friend was a way on holiday so I couldn’t hang out with my best friend for the day. My parents didn’t have any money like usual, but my older brother bless his heart and soul gave my parents some many for me to perhaps get me a cake or something…but what did my parents do buy themselves cigs and alcohol they have their priorities s right… I didn’t get a cake either. Its not that I want anything for my birthday I just wanted to feel special and I don’t its like any ordinary day for me.

It’s not just the way I celebrate my birthdays that makes my life so terrible there has been over events that make me despise my life so much but telling you what happened wouldn’t leave such a mystery to my so called life.

Peace out suckers – Alex