Her beauty is beyond compare.
She looks elegant in her white long dress.
She's all that I want and in every step that she takes, creates heartaches within me.
She's getting married. And I'm here at the end of the aisle hopelessly waiting for her.
I'm the Bestman not the Groom.
How I wish she would ran away, running away would get her to me and would make her mine again, but I know she wouldn't.
She wouldn't because she loves her groom more than her bestfriend.
I'm just her bestfriend but how ambitious I was to beg for her love, to believe she would love me too. Maybe a little, I guess she did but I did throw it away.
Three years ago, I asked my bestfriend to be my girlfriend and yes! She agreed on the idea. She said to give it a try. She act like a real girlfriend would do to her boyfriend.
We did what real lovers do. We hug, we kiss, we exchange "i love you's" and we frequently went out for dates.
Our relationship went on so smoothly but I wasn't contented at all. I asked for more. I doubted on her love.
I believe we were just acting that we were just fooling ourselves.
I wanted to know if she really loves me as a lover not as her bestfriend.
I went away for work. I want to gave her space, a time to evaluate her love for me. It's painful inside but I have to do it. I have to measure her love. I don't want to have her as mine if I am not the man that she really wants to be with her throughout her life.
I ask not her permission, neither told her I would leave. I only left her with a letter which says:
Love, I have to be far from you as of this time. I do not know when will I come back but I promise I will be back, maybe not on the morrow or in the days to come but I promise you, I will.
I hope you'll have enough patient and love to wait.
But if ever you'll find, meet and love someone more than me,
I assure you, I will not hinder if he will be your happiness. I want you to be happy.
Don't cry because you are always in my heart, My Only One, my Life, my forever and my Destiny for Eternity.
Love,
William Stephenson
I left her for almost a year and now, I'm back and she's getting married.
She looks at me, a tear fell from her eyes
(I feel weak and powerless)
then she smile
(it's painful inside)
and look at her groom, beside me.
(I regret leaving her)
Her groom steps closer to her.
(I'm stupid, why did I leave her? I desperately want her back)
Her groom looks at me and smile.
(I want her to be mine. I love her ! )
I didn't get my eyes from her.
"any last words for my bride ?" the groom asks.
I gathered my breath and slowly, syllable by syllable I declare,
"I love her, I want her"
"Wweeiill-liam"
"Will you please ran away with me?" , I ask her without considering his groom, who is standing beside me.
She immediately looked at me, gently waved her head and said, "this day will be the happiest day of my life"
Then she continued, "please don't messed it up"
Her words break my heart. How could I do this to her?
Her groom smiled.
"Please don't run away or asked me to go with you, coz you know I'll never do that,
but please be part of this significant event in my life. I don't want you to missed it." she pleaded.
It hurts me more but I know I deserve it.
I stay silent. I couldn't look in her eyes nor at her groom.
I'm ashamed of myself. I want to disappear like what bubbles do in the air.
"and now what?" the groom asks.
I did all my best to stand firm and motioned my hand from him to her, sign that I'm giving her to him.
"thank you" said the groom while preparing his arms to be cling.
I watched as her hands journeyed towards his arms but before she made it there,
I grab her wrist, hold it tight and run.
***
"anything to say?" the groom asks.
I was awaken and realized that I was still standing on the very same ground and that I was only imagining things of running her away.
Beneath the veil, I could see that she was smiling at me.
I smiled back, "nothing"
"sure?" he asks.
I raised my eyebrow and smile, then he took a step towards her, she was still staring at me.
They took their steps towards the altar but her head was still on me.
(Her eyes was telling me that she loves me.)
Then she slowly turn her head towards the altar.
As of this moment, all I could do is watch them being married.
#to be continued...
