There's One More Night

When I woke up I stretched a little. A yawn was then added as I flipped over wanting to see your beautiful smiling face. You were turned away from me, so I all I say was the back of your luscious brown curly mop of hair. I started to play with it a little, hoping you would wake up as you always would if someone touched you. But this morning, you weren't shaken by this gesture.

I whispered, "Morning sweet heart," but again you weren't shaken. Why weren't you waking up? You usually would pop out of bed as soon as I rolled over next to you! Suddenly I remembered last night. I remembered staying up way too late for me and Harry and both of us coming home and going straight to sleep. Did he forget? And even if he did... Why would... I sat up slowly, shaking, to see if the impossible had come to my life. I slowly pulled Harry onto his back, to get a good look at his face.

I put my hand over my mouth, and felt tears start to stream down my face. I started to get out of bed, maybe a little too quickly because once my feet hit the floor my knees gave out. I was shaking like a mad man, or maybe someone on cocaine, I wouldn't know. My mind was racing. And what about the kids? How would they react? Tanner was only 3! I turned to face Harry and said, "Damn it Harry this better be a cruel joke or I'll fucking smack your face off." I must have been yelling, because Emma slammed the door opened and said, "What's wrong?" She looked down and saw me sobbing on the floor, and Harry laying on his back on the bed. She put her hand over her mouth and ran down the stairs. I remembered thinking, 'Please call someone.' Because I couldn't move. I could only sit here on the cold wooden floor and weep. Everything after that was a blur. Emma must have called the ambulance, along with the other boys. I'm glad she did that. Really, because without the boys I would have been dying even more inside. I remember having Zayn pick me up off of the floor of the bedroom.

I remember people coming inside the house with a gurney, yelling none sense at each other. I remember sitting in the front seat of our car secretly crying and awaiting your exit. I was waiting for you to come walking out of the house with your hands in the air saying, "Happy April Fools Louis!" And then everyone clapping and laughing as I raced up to him and slapped him.

But that never happened. When you did exit though, I couldn't see your face. All I saw was a white blanket on top of the gurney with you under it. I remember sobbing more. After that Liam took all of the kids to Anne's house because her house was big enough to handle five kids, unlike mine with five kids already in it. Zayn took me to the hospital to find Harry, so I could be with him. Once Zayn parked the car I jumped out and ran inside the sliding doors. I sprinted to the desk and interrupted the conversation she was already having, "Harry Tomlinson's room?" I asked pleadingly. She just looked at me with a rude expression on her face. I felt tears swelling inside my eyes. I asked again trying not to choke on my words, "What number is Harry Tomlinson's room?" Her expression went from rude, to solemn.

I felt a small tear roll down my cheek, I couldn't hold it in. "Harry... His room number...?" The lady grabbed my hand and said so quietly I barely caught what she said, "He wanted you to know, he loves you. Those were his last words."

Once I processed it, after a good minute or so, I felt two more tears fall. Then four. Soon enough they were streaming down my face uncontrollably. I let my hand go numb in the receptionist's. She then let go and apologized. I couldn't hear her though. My knees buckled again and I fell down to the ground. Then I screamed. I don't know why, I just did. It felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and the started carving artwork into my skin with it. I yelled all sorts of things. I remember swearing in between every word, and then yelling about how stupid you are and how stupid I was. I didn't get into how much I loved you because Zayn had seen me freaking out from the parking lot and he came rushing in to take me out. Zayn carried me to the car, with me kicking and swearing at the world. I'm sure I looked like a four year old who didn't get their way, but I didn't care what I looked like. I just wanted Harry to come and stroke my hand saying, "It'll be okay." But he didn't...