A Pig, A Devil, A Cheetah

Routine

I stand at the entrance of Braker High.

Emphasis on stand. School starts in ten minutes but I can't find the courage to walk in. Students walk on each side of me to get to the front door.

Most of them wave with sympathetic looks on their faces. I don't need their sympathy but I wave with a small smile nonetheless.

With two minutes to spare I finally walk in. My first class is AP World History and that's near the front anyway. I make it with thirty seconds left.

And don't think I missed how everyone shushed when I walked in. I sat at an empty table while everyone curiously gazed at me. Probably because I haven't socialized with anyone all morning.

I'm popular because I'm nice to everyone. Always smiling. I have always included everyone in what I could and made sure people were happy. At least when they're around me.

Ashley comes and sits next to me. They visited me in the hospital so they weren't acting like everyone else. Ash glared at everyone until they turned their heads to the front, listening to the teacher.

Ash has always been my other half. People were always confused seeing us together because Ash is so open with how they feel. They aren't afraid to express their feelings. They also almost have a scowl on their face constantly.

But I know the real Ash. A total softy. My absolute best friend.

I smile for the first time today. Everyone who was still glancing back at me finally dropped their tense shoulders. Their concerned looks turning into smiles. The conversation around the room picks back up immediately.

Dang. I guess I really do have an impact.

Ash continues to make jokes all class period which has me laughing like I haven't in a while. People finally got the courage to talk to me. Which I was glad for, I'm not a fragile being who needs to be tiptoed around.

At least Ace wasn't.

I'm soon back into the regular routine. My friends sit with me at lunch and talk to to me whenever they see me. Everyone waves and smiles my way. Ash is still by my side. But something is still different. Of course it wouldn't be the same.

But I feel good. Happy for once since the accident.

My mood doesn't even go down while I'm driving home.

I admit that this morning I was being a wuss and was scared to get back into a car. But I didn't feel like missing anymore school so I pulled myself together. Yes it's stil scary as heck but I'm getting through it.

When I walk through the door I have a little dance in my step.

My parents look at each other with a weirded out expression. "He's definitely on drugs..." My dad says.

I chuckle a little as I make my way to my room. They don't comment further while they return to their show.

When I'm finally safe and secure in my room I turn on the light for the first time since I've been back.

Embarrassment doesn't even begin to cover what I'm feeling. There is clothes everywhere. Candy wrappers thrown next to the trash can. Pencils and markers thrown across the desk. A pizza box on the floor. When did I even get pizza?!

I've always been an extremely neat person so seeing the mess causes a mini panic in me. I set out for the kitchen for a trash bag and cleaning supplies.

~ 2 hours and three containers of wipes later ~

Collapsing onto your bed after a few hours of cleaning has to be the best feeling.

So good I didn't even bother turning off the light or getting changed before falling fast asleep.

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You know. Halfway through reading this for spelling mistakes, I felt like I was reading someone else's book. And honestly I feel good about that. I finally got past the part of hating my books and I actually got hooked. I think I'm going to like writing this one.