Better off together (Ariana/You)

Chapter 9

Y/N POV

*one week ago*

The darkness of the sky was all I could see from the balcony of my hotel room. It's as if the sky was engulfing me and taking me somewhere peaceful, somewhere where I belonged. I'm so overwhelmed by the immensity of the sky. I fee so little, it scares me sometimes. I wonder if someone's thinking the same thing or am I really alone.

Do people not realise how strange all of this is. I mean from this balcony I see few houses all filled with people living on the same bit of the earth as me. We're all so close but so far at the same time. It saddens me how so many of us feel lonely when the world is filled with people. 

I inhaled sharply on my joint, scared that if my mind were to sober up I'll start feeling sad again. 

After few seconds I exhaled, a feeling of warmth invaded my body so I closed my eyes.

"baby?" I heard Ariana call out from behind me. 

I didn't answer her, mostly because I didn't have the energy to do so. She walked in front of me, blocking the view. I wasn't mad, this view is much more meaningful. Wow that was deep. 

I'm deep into thought but so high in my head. Wow. I took another puff and my eyes closed instinctively.

It's only when I started hearing light sobs that my mind somehow came back to reality. My eyes shot open only to be met with a crying Ariana. She was leaning against the balcony fence, her face buried into her hands. 

I got up and wrapped my arms around her tiny body and held her close. Few questions immediately came in my confused mind. Is this my fault? Did I do something wrong? I felt like crying too just at the thought of being the cause of such sadness. I could feel my t-shirt getting wet and sticking to my shoulder. 

I bit my lip nervously. After few minutes she stopped sobbing and released me a little bit. Not too much though. "I don't make you happy anymore and It's only been a week" She said weakly. I don't know if it's the weed or just my confused mind but what in the world could make her think that. She then proceeded to harshly wipe her tears away. 

"Why would you think that?" I asked an anxious feeling surrounding me. 

"My ex" She started but paused after two words, she looked sad but mad at the same time. "he took drugs to fill a void in him that even I couldn't fill. I wasn't enough then and I'm still not enough now." She said as tears started slowly rolling down her cheek. 

"I'm not taking drugs I'm just getting high cause I need to escape reality for a bit" I tried explaining myself. I obviously said the wrong thing since she immediately scoffed. 

"you need an escape from me? I'm starting think you're just with me for a good fuck." And just like that she got back inside and locked me out. She literally locked me out on this balcony. I looked at her as she left the room. My mouth agape. Bitch I'm cold come back, I thought to myself. 

"shit" I whispered to myself as I looked around the city feeling like an idiot. I mean my girlfriend just locked me out and thinks that I'm only with her for the sex apparently. This night can't get any more messed up. I sat my ass down and as I was about to take a puff from my joint I decided against it. I don't need to get her any more mad at me. God I really like her. It's weird that it's in these kind of fucked up moments that I realised it. Better now than never, I guess.

After about ten minutes I saw a guilty looking Ariana coming back to me. I looked at her with a pleading look. I was fucking freezing. I was honesty mad, I could've died out here. Does she not realise that the weather in Belgium isn't the same than in Los Angeles.