Lorn

i loved you

I loved you. I don't now.
I can never forget about you though. Not ever. Everything around me reminds me of you.Every place in this city reminds of you. Maybe that's why I am leaving tomorrow. I am scared of leaving all this behind but it is a relief to be away from the air you breath. Yes that's how pathetic I am. I am still stuck on you. My room is a terrible place for me  now as you were here once. I have been sleeping  on the sofa as my bed was a place for our snuggles and cuddles. Tears well up in my eyes at any place. A party,a meeting,a market. Everything reminds me you. I know break-ups happen and people move on. But I just can't move on with the weight of your memories in my head.
You left me.
The way you shouted and screamed and yelled at me the last day we saw each other led me to believe that this was a lame joke just like the many others you crack every now and then. I always told you that I hate them but secretly I was thankful that I was listening to them.
The way you stared at me with those brown eyes and messy hair often intrigued me.You would play for hours with my hair and I would lie there breathing in your fragrance.

I would question myself on rainy evenings and sunny mornings that how could someone love the pathetic mess that I am? I had always doubted myself . From the day I had opened my eyes till I met you. Everyone had judged me except you.
And then you left me.
I started doubting myself again.
I loved you. I don't now.